Killing of Sikh Leader Sets Off Riots in India - New York Times
Punjab Riots after Vienna Killing - BBC News
Nah this post isnt about violence or religious extremism. Violence ofcourse starts with 'V'. I usually do not discriminate among letters, but I think the ones which are in the end are usually the laziest bums of the group and less trustable. Dont trust my opinion?? Ok. Simple question: What is the sign of the sleepyheads and comatose drinkyheads in the world?? ZZZZZZZ.... and Z is the 26th alphabet. Coincidence? I think not!
Regardless of whatever the old and the new testament says, I can vouch that this is what happened:
GOD created the universe, the earth, the moon, the beach and the pebbles on the beach over a period of six days. Along with this he created the food chain and made man sit on its top. Everything was fine. And then GOD did just a teeny-tiney-eenie-weenie mistake. He gave man the tongue. If you do not know, the first man didn't had a tongue. We know that GOD is almighty and source of all the wisdom, so of course he would have known the pitfalls of giving man a tongue. But GOD had to give him under circumstantial pressure. You'll ask, GOD and under pressure? Well as my newly written testament says, GOD created man and together they partied, boozed and made merry on the seventh day. When man woke up after all the delectation's and creation hangover, he probably... u know wanted to 'relieve' himself... and if you are in front of GOD almighty then the etiquette dictates u don't leave his party without informing him. Its GOD the 'almighty' and he had just created u fresh from his oven. May be he'll put you in the oven again, just for funzies... You can't predict someones mood after a friday night hangover. So man naturally did what anyone without tongue would do... jump around... use sign language to tell he wants to go for a 'releiving ceremony'... no shame in accepting, we all have done this at some point in our lives... you know how it happens right... when the pressure is too much... we get up, get down... move restlessly... pace up and down... look towards that closed restroom and curse the person sitting inside. Now imagine all that and with added effect of having 'no tongue'... I doubt sign language would have reached its artistic level back then... so GOD is seeing this freshly made hunny-bunny, his art de-joy - the man, jumping in hoops in front of him and with his entire wisdom GOD cannot figure out what the heck is wrong with this young chap...
Rum? Bacardi?? Grapes? Apple?... Seriously Chap... tell me what you want. I am GOD. I can deliver.
But Nah. The Dance of impuissance and conflicted irony continues. So GOD gets frustrated, he wonders and against his own wisdom, does the unthinkable.
So... wolla! GOD gives him the freedom to speak... and since then GOD has probably felt guilty of this mistake... but GOD being GOD cannot disclose this in open... i know this because he told me this last night... anyways... so coming back to the point... now GOD... needed to give man letters too... just the next logical step after creating the tongue...
And thus, GOD created the letters.... and decided to create words... GOD being GOD, cannot stop being GODlike, wanted to be just and fair to all the letters (duh), so he invited them to his palace next day in the morning... to distribute words among them... and give them a place in the alphabet tree... Now we all know what happened after that... A being of most cheerful disposition arrived first and went singing merrily with first seat and Z probably arrived at last... probably had drugged itself on half a weed from last nights creation party... and thus we have A with most words and Z with the least...
Anyhows, now that I have established the history of mankind and alphabets in one single article worthy of being included in Wikipedia, I shall go on to tell the real story behind this blog... It just so happened that last week, my mom, dad and bro got saved from an insane mob of 1000 people...A journey of an hour lasted for more than three during which they had their own version of 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure'... And yeah they are safe and gobbling aaloo/paneer parathas as I thus speak...
In short, everyone left Ludhiana quite late at night. On the way there was 'chakka jaam' at quite many places. I was on phone with them during that time and we were joking about certain things so I didn't realize the gravity of the situation. Anyhows, they had to detour over couple of villages late at night during which they lost their way and ended up in a group of 1000 crazy people who stopped their car and refused to let them go away. Dad, cool as cucumber as he is, stepped outside and showed his sympathies with them. They threatened to harm him. They wanted candies which my dad promised to get them if they come with him to 'Modern Kiryana Store'. So the group calmed down and lo! in from them emerged the leader who took my dad aside and told him in his ear, that candies are for others but 'real men' accept nothing below 'Dairy Milk'. I guess my dad thought a little bit about implications, but he agreed. Ultimately the leader of the group came in and saw the dairy milk in his eyes and took over our car and drove through the entire route until Phagwara! And then Army tried to stop him in between - they wanted their share of candies, but ultimately he reached home safe and sound.
Normally I have seen people panic and getting flustered when something like this happens. Scared, terrified would normally be the general reaction on such cases. It all stems from the inability of people to remember the correct kiryana store to go and fetch candies. But somehow things are little different in our family.Dad says its the 'Faith' thingy. Apparently few years ago we dug a hole in our backyard and hit this supply line. Since then without informing PWD (Punjab Waterworks Department) we have been steadily routing this 'Faith' thingy in our home. I don't know if its illegal to fish faith in troubled waters, but it has kept our lawns green ever since then. So as my dad tried to explain me in language of worlds most ancient dialect - hindi, we have this faith that GOD is sitting in a big room filled with zillions of Televisions and watching over us. Its somewhat unsettling I know. Apparently he does not use DVDs and has system more advanced then Blue Ray to record over what we do. This has raised heat in Seattle where Microsoft is working hard to find the system with aim of ultimately copying and mass producing it under their own label.
Neverthless coming back, probably GOD has a TiVo installed. Who knows. No one has apparently seen his condo or the bed room. GOD is a private person and paparazzi are strictly not allowed. So not much is known about GODs private life. Has he got picture frames hanging on his walls? Da Vinci? Manet? Kabir? Tulsidas? What channels he prefers to watch the most? I am not interested to know the make of the TVs but I sure want to know how much energy bill he gets and what credit card GOD uses to pay them all. My American Express is set to expire in few months.
Anyhows, as much of talentless person I am, I have apparently received this 'faith' by hereditary means. Faith that there is this guide who is constantly watching us and who'll steer our ships away. For long time I thought it was the voice from the skies. I mean like Lightning. But apparently its the voice from within. They say 'Faith' is the best antidote for a calamity. It wont replace the function that a benadryl has to perform but undoubtedly the importance that 'Faith' serves in our lives serves is more than air water and food put together. Not so good things do happen in ones life but nothing can be more terrible than losing ones faith. Having no faith is like a 10 headed giant dragon ready to slay hope, dreams and the banana cream pie given the first chance. So have the faith in whatever you believe in.
It happened when dad had to get operated for his heart. It happened when mom had the accident. And it happened recently when a friend going through serious emotional stress thought stabbing me was as great as taking the giant ride in Kings Island :P (Not for the weak hearted but monstrously funny story, which I am not yet allowed to reveal) and countless others... Have I ever lost it?yeah... once until now... and in a not so distant past... it was akin to sitting on a scooter with really bad shockers but except that, I always had faith that Krogers shall never be empty of the Hagen-Daz when I need it...
Here is hoping that 'May the force be with you' :)
