as you might have come to know.... the world has recently woken up to tunes of gentle rolling of octopuses... considering the gulf is on fire, seems octopuses have chosen an alternative lifestyle - to be a psychic... :) and guaranteed they are not getting pina-coladas, but i dont suppose they have any crib notes on their current lifestyle
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/world-cup/blog?entryID=5361798&name=worldcup2010blog&cc=5901&ver=us
forget mathematical models based on multivariate analysis to predict market predictions.... its time... for every1 to get new pets - octopuses....
its little wonder how these gentle creatures of underworld have escaped tentacles of mankind ;) (u get it how sweetly i introduced tentacles here - octopuses have tentacles and not men... funny :D well never mind if u dont find it funny, just read ahead)
considering one of the most technologically advanced countries believes in Paul, goes to prove the daily humdrum of science cannot breach the fabric of unknown to look as efficiently in future, as Paul can...
anyhows, with Paul have lately become fond of the idea of having octopuses as pets... in my opinion, they are better than dogs n cats... n here's why
the tentacles of octopuses, they are so strong that were u hanging on a rope like Sylvester Stallone in Cliffhanger, u mite use them to pull urself up... so they are life savers... what does a dog or cats tail do other than wagging?
octopuses are like mini vacuum cleaners with their small holes in their tentacles... so they are house cleaners
octopuses can kill sharks and that too with their bare hands ;)... so they are more awesome than you, me and all humanity combined together...
they are pretty intense dancers.. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUB4VvafnJ4)
you are down and hit rock bottom? just approach your friendly pet octopus.... with too many hands, they can hold you, your coffee and tissues at same time... aint that sweet
you are high and need some1 to hi-five??? you'll never find the friendly octopus out of hands to give u what u want...
Octopuses are psychics... period
and the list can go on... but hopefully you get my point...
so next time u r in a position of life n death... when there are situations beyond ur control... like the time when u cant decide what milk carton to choose - 2% organic or skimmed milk... remember Paul and ask for his advice and strength to carry you through such tough times...
till then, m logging off to head to Newport Aquarium to find my own personal psychic....
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Of Dolphins and Sea Monster
This is a work of fiction and any resemblance between the characters and persons living or dead is purely coincidental.... (In any case, I am not famous or have enough money if you are planning to sue me. Although I do have a towel in my possession which I am very much attached to since last four years. It’s a good towel - just tender enough to slowly diminish my rate of settlement on chair to a level where I can firmly position myself without flinching and just hard enough to smack a spider on the wall. As anyone will tell you, a good towel is hard to find.)
(today)
Booooooooooooom.
(yesterday)
For months the DolphX News Channel had been locked into a debate which had invited every known famous Dolphin from all around the world.
'It's not gonna happen' chimed Dr Felicitious Closedoptica.
'I agree, it ain't gonna happen' said the all-knowing pundit Christopher Doodlehead.
'But if it happens, it will slowly take over our kingdom. We do not know what can come out of it? The legend of Mandolph talks of the giant sea monster which shall awaken one day and cover the entire world with a venom so dark, that there will be blood everywhere' - the lone voice of Dr Factodian Truthadux protested.
(* the legend of Mandolph... it was more of a myth now... the type of myth which everyone agreed was just a myth and decidedly false, yet there was a consensus that it should be feared nevertheless... That is the fate of legends... passing on from a generation to next and getting diluted every time until one day it becomes one of the ‘stupid and hilarious stories’ the grandpa used to foretell…
For long the Dolphin Kingdom had been living in perfect harmony with other inhabitants of the sea... The new born were taken care of... The shrimp and other food industry was regulated properly and everyone agreed happily paid their taxes to help the unfortunate few who had their fins or tails cut off in some unfortunate accident... yes, once or twice there were some impropriety... like the time Mrs. Readbeak ran off with much married Mr. Tukoto Kosami - father of Kosami klan of Japanese waters. But overall, it was very much a dull happy place. Food was in plenty. There was plenty of room and dolphins from around the world were invited with open fins… there was no anti- immigration law and racial profiling was unheard of… although the dolphins from Pacific were often ridiculed for their unbearingly voice modulations… There was just too much C-sharp in them which made them sing like a tuning fork… *)
‘The myth of Mandolph?? That is a heap of diggity-doogity goo goo my friend. No one believes it. There is no evidence of a sea monster. The only monster I have seen was my physical instructor back in high school and he made me clean all the reef one time. Now I know they are not the most intelligent of the species, but surely no one is so stupid to do a suicide as the legend says.’ said Dr Closedoptica.
‘I am sorry, but have you forsaken our own history in prejudice of our present times? Our much worshipped ancestors moved to land from the sea. But they had to return back to sea once again for they could not see the destruction caused by the upperdwellers. The Book of Mandolph specifically talks about the potential of upperdwellers to cause depredation everywhere they go. There savage desires know no bounds. Our wise ancestors had warned us that one day, the lust of upperdwellers will seep into our worlds and awaken the giant monster which will be the end of our world as we know it. WE NEED TO BE PREPARED FOR THOSE MOMENTS’ – said Dr. Truthadux almost screamingly.
‘I am sorry Dr. but there is no need to be so much in alarm. We have witnessed them over several centuries. Surely we have seen them over years. There is an agreement between them and us now. Look at the history, look at the number of their lives our kinsdolphins have saved. They have no business down here! Yes, sometimes some of our members have been captured, but then they were the ones who had breached to surface and trespassed onto forbidden zones. We cannot blame upperdwellers for the foolhardy actions of our kin.’ uttered Mr. Doodlehead .
‘Look, are you so blind to see the upperdwellers are already encroaching upon our lands? For months we have seen them putting their things in the sea. Have you looked at that long piece of tube drilling on our basin and slowly churning the sea. I am telling you, we do not know its motives. Don’t be so naïve to trust that upperdwellers are doing this with all the goodness in their heart. They do not care of us. It is about the lives of our children’ – said Dr. Truthadux.
‘I disagree, I think Dr Truthadux is raising an alarm which should not be raised. We threaten no one, we are the gentlest of sea creatures, the upper dwellers think we are adorable… yeah, that is what I have heard them say sometimes… surely they need us and the sea as much as we need it… There is no sea monster here! There is no reason to move an entire country just because of a myth‘ said Mr. Doodlehead.
‘Yes, We have already sealed the entire area and passed the order not to go around that tube. That should take care of things‘ said Dr. Closedoptica.
(today)
The Sea Monster gushed forth from the beds of the sea… In a moment, the chest of the sea was ripped apart and laid bare as the ‘Sea Monster’ awakened from thousands of years of sleep… just as the legend foretold…
And then there was darkness forever…
(today)
Booooooooooooom.
(yesterday)
For months the DolphX News Channel had been locked into a debate which had invited every known famous Dolphin from all around the world.
'It's not gonna happen' chimed Dr Felicitious Closedoptica.
'I agree, it ain't gonna happen' said the all-knowing pundit Christopher Doodlehead.
'But if it happens, it will slowly take over our kingdom. We do not know what can come out of it? The legend of Mandolph talks of the giant sea monster which shall awaken one day and cover the entire world with a venom so dark, that there will be blood everywhere' - the lone voice of Dr Factodian Truthadux protested.
(* the legend of Mandolph... it was more of a myth now... the type of myth which everyone agreed was just a myth and decidedly false, yet there was a consensus that it should be feared nevertheless... That is the fate of legends... passing on from a generation to next and getting diluted every time until one day it becomes one of the ‘stupid and hilarious stories’ the grandpa used to foretell…
For long the Dolphin Kingdom had been living in perfect harmony with other inhabitants of the sea... The new born were taken care of... The shrimp and other food industry was regulated properly and everyone agreed happily paid their taxes to help the unfortunate few who had their fins or tails cut off in some unfortunate accident... yes, once or twice there were some impropriety... like the time Mrs. Readbeak ran off with much married Mr. Tukoto Kosami - father of Kosami klan of Japanese waters. But overall, it was very much a dull happy place. Food was in plenty. There was plenty of room and dolphins from around the world were invited with open fins… there was no anti- immigration law and racial profiling was unheard of… although the dolphins from Pacific were often ridiculed for their unbearingly voice modulations… There was just too much C-sharp in them which made them sing like a tuning fork… *)
‘The myth of Mandolph?? That is a heap of diggity-doogity goo goo my friend. No one believes it. There is no evidence of a sea monster. The only monster I have seen was my physical instructor back in high school and he made me clean all the reef one time. Now I know they are not the most intelligent of the species, but surely no one is so stupid to do a suicide as the legend says.’ said Dr Closedoptica.
‘I am sorry, but have you forsaken our own history in prejudice of our present times? Our much worshipped ancestors moved to land from the sea. But they had to return back to sea once again for they could not see the destruction caused by the upperdwellers. The Book of Mandolph specifically talks about the potential of upperdwellers to cause depredation everywhere they go. There savage desires know no bounds. Our wise ancestors had warned us that one day, the lust of upperdwellers will seep into our worlds and awaken the giant monster which will be the end of our world as we know it. WE NEED TO BE PREPARED FOR THOSE MOMENTS’ – said Dr. Truthadux almost screamingly.
‘I am sorry Dr. but there is no need to be so much in alarm. We have witnessed them over several centuries. Surely we have seen them over years. There is an agreement between them and us now. Look at the history, look at the number of their lives our kinsdolphins have saved. They have no business down here! Yes, sometimes some of our members have been captured, but then they were the ones who had breached to surface and trespassed onto forbidden zones. We cannot blame upperdwellers for the foolhardy actions of our kin.’ uttered Mr. Doodlehead .
‘Look, are you so blind to see the upperdwellers are already encroaching upon our lands? For months we have seen them putting their things in the sea. Have you looked at that long piece of tube drilling on our basin and slowly churning the sea. I am telling you, we do not know its motives. Don’t be so naïve to trust that upperdwellers are doing this with all the goodness in their heart. They do not care of us. It is about the lives of our children’ – said Dr. Truthadux.
‘I disagree, I think Dr Truthadux is raising an alarm which should not be raised. We threaten no one, we are the gentlest of sea creatures, the upper dwellers think we are adorable… yeah, that is what I have heard them say sometimes… surely they need us and the sea as much as we need it… There is no sea monster here! There is no reason to move an entire country just because of a myth‘ said Mr. Doodlehead.
‘Yes, We have already sealed the entire area and passed the order not to go around that tube. That should take care of things‘ said Dr. Closedoptica.
(today)
The Sea Monster gushed forth from the beds of the sea… In a moment, the chest of the sea was ripped apart and laid bare as the ‘Sea Monster’ awakened from thousands of years of sleep… just as the legend foretold…
And then there was darkness forever…
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Of Oil and Water
unbelievable...
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/30/AR2010053002195.html?hpid=topnews
so let me get this straight
we can go to moon
we can build a bomb to nuke every damn planet/bacteria/virus on this condemned planet
we can wipe off entire forests, entire wastelands and marshes
we can make planes and robots which can go and excavate mars and find water there
we can make tallest buildings which defy gravity and blur sense of real with illusion
but we cannot fix a damn hole???
the keepers of green dollar bills and gold coins forget that this planet belongs to none, that it is a gift from ancestors to be passed on to coming generations...oil companies in particular have had a long tradition of devaluing human life for monetary gains and establishment of their world order... Atrocities by Shell in Nigeria and their role in death of Ken Saro, destruction of Ecuadorian rainforests by Chevron, Exxon Mobil and Indonesia... the list goes endless... I am reminded of a scene from the movie 'Blood Diamond' in which an african old man thanks god that the white people came and found diamonds... n then he wonders it could have been worst if they had found oil instead...
they keep on harping upon our dependence on oil... that there is no possible solution to circumvent our dependence on remains of algae and sea weed spread on ocean floor over period of billions of years...
seriously??? is finding such a solution that complicated...
for starters, why not imagine a place, what if there was never such an oil for us to use at first place? i believe in resourcefulness of mankind and m utterly sure that instead of keeping on burning wood and coal, we would have found a sound solution to this problem... maybe too many windfarms, too many geothermal vents...
Yeah US is leading on research for alternative methods of fueling... but it is stumbling... the right winged lunatic fringe of this country is totally devoid of any sense of real and it is they who are pushing this country on a brink of catastrophic edge... to me it almost seems that for India and rest of the world, there is not much time left... the sense of urgency to secure viable, long termed energy solutions which can overcome the dismayed projections of future need to be there and that too right now... What sort of planet are we planning to gift our coming generations? I pledge to do whatever it is in my power to make my impact on this planet as harmless as possible...
this is one of the saddest event I am witnessing in my lifetime...
Monday, April 26, 2010
Of Aliens and Earthlings
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/space/article7107207.ece
i guess one side effect of being a sc-fi lover happens to be dealing with thinking numerous ways we can get obliterated :D
m glad that a scientist as eminent as Stephen hawking is moving this concern beyond the realm of sci-fi though... the analogy he has drawn for relations bw aliens with us and native Americans with Columbus is hardly an outcome of some conspiracy theory and beyond possibility of probability... i definitely believe there are aliens out there... and i can bet my life that they are not all carbon based life forms... and I am not even going to discuss Drake Equation or Fermi's paradox in that context...
I think one of the biggest mistakes our scientists have been doing for very long time have been to search for extra-terrestrial life in form of 'life' as we see 'life' as... which is a grave mistake... same units of life form can be based on Silicon... or Iron in some unique bonding which we might not be aware of... already in last 5 years, we have come across several forms of extremophiles which have changed our thinking of life... and that's just on our planet...
if u think of life on this planet and think of how many ways we can get annihilated, perhaps you will bend down on ur knees and start kissing ground when the realization dawns on how lucky we are to be alive... and how our small inconsequential worries matter zilch when it comes to the big cosmos...
our planet is in peril... its a precarious territory...
i know for what i m about to say i may be ridiculed, and justifiably so... and yeah, we can all put everything on shoulders of 'God' and give up saying 'what is gonna happen, is gonna happen'... before m labeled as 'depressive soul' or 'negative thinker' or a 'doomsayer' let me assure u, m not... but at same time i also believe in being cautious and i think there r things which shud genuinely worry us and we shud think of what ever we can do about them.... and yet m positive that our survival over last millennium is no mistake... future is going to be exciting with many great things which are ready to explode and unfold in coming few years... n each of us need to be ready for making it better and making sure our probability of survival is as much as possible...
i fervently believe that future belongs to science... if u look at the sci-fi movies like 2012, independence day, deep impact... one concept is central to all of them... in any impending gloom the governments around the world are going to do their best to make sure human race survives... and they do so by choosing 'few'... what r chances of getting picked among those 'few',,, well for one - either u need to be filthy rich like ambanis or offer something valuable to human race... be an eminent scientist, an eminent engineer, an eminent doctor, an astrophysicist, a neurosurgeon... (an eminent dancer? probably not).... yes, i know we cannot be that now... its too late for us... but this is not about us... this is about the coming generations - our children, our grandchildren... you want them to survive and carry on their shoulders the beautiful memories of this dying planet... they need to be 'best' n they need to be 'useful'... doesn't mean kids cant have fun... in fact i think no one has more fun than some1 who is involved in science n technology... they don't need to give up on waltz or music lessons... but we need to show them beauty of finding unknown...
as for ourselves... there r things we can do... i for one have been very cautious on use of plastic for long n try to use them minimally... n m going to minimize it further... its always sad to see whales washing on beaches, dying and having 10 gallon worth of plastic inside them... its always sad to see that there is a continent of plastic as big as Texas floating in pacific ocean... n not to talk of numerous ways global warming is effecting India and the whole world... it pains me to see a common man struggling to survive in the sweltering heat n ppl queuing up for mile for water which is rationed on daily use... n i have some other plans, which m not gonna divulge because they r too crazy to be disclosed :D
but somehow i feel safe too when i see likes of great leaders like dean kamen, ray kurzweil, al gore, narayan murthy, bill gates n so many others working and struggling to give us all a fighting chance to survive... when all of us are totally unconcerned n take everything around us for granted... we are safe because of ppl like them... n someday i wud like to see our children join ranks of such eminent ppl - who think of it as 'gaia' and love it as "na'vi" people did of Pandora...
yeah... its a lengthy diatribe... n probably m somewhat crazy :D
but well i cant shut up :D
so all the ridicule is formally invited... :D
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Of Ethics and responsibilities
this article is clearly written by someone whose heart cries for these ppl n wants the corporations who bring some change...
http://www.nlcnet.org/reports?id=0034&t=1
hats off to the journalistic endeavor... particularly since getting pics outta places like these is huge task...
i guess the idea is that corporations dont give a damn about conditions of labor... but hopefully the ppl do...unfortunately ppl have short memories... its same as 'blood diamonds' n sweatshops in india... last year a story came off that gap clothes were made by underage kids in india n Gap to their credit ended their relations wid that firm in new delhi...
clearly it rattled microsoft n it did its investigation... n... so it emerged, some justice has been done...
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/infotech/software/Microsofts-China-suppliers-get-2-wks-to-end-illegal-practices/articleshow/5826500.cms
are they going to severe ties with this company? not sure for now... similar thing happened with apple corp 2 weeks ago n they cleared the company in question...no news if the corporation under scrutiny made any changes in their labor policy... somehow the whole story seems ironic... china is considered a communist place n republicans in america deride china for its policies which they believe lead to unionization... n yet what is happening inside the factories in china is clearly a result because of corporate greed n capitalism being forced down the throats of these workers...
wid no labor costs.. it means a mouse being sold at 70$... is clearly getting the company at least 40-45$ in profit (considering packaging+die +circuit costs)... n these ppl r getting probably 10 cents on that mouse... for greed everything else is too little... for microsoft in particular this wud be hypocritical... bill gates has set up billions of dollars to solve problems of world... seems as if all that money is labeled already with sweat of others...
earning 1200$ per year? 65 cents /hour? n working 80 hours per week? that is inhumane!
unfortunately we cant stop buying products... cant also say that we'll buy products of their competitors... samsung, HP, lenovo... they all seem to be using this particular vendor...
but wud i be willing to pay somewhat more money if i were to know that, that money wud directly go to benefit these ppl - Yes...
but for now, i m glad that bringing this fact to world attention has paid off... gives hope for future of this planet n ppl who inhabit it... :)
http://www.nlcnet.org/reports?id=0034&t=1
hats off to the journalistic endeavor... particularly since getting pics outta places like these is huge task...
i guess the idea is that corporations dont give a damn about conditions of labor... but hopefully the ppl do...unfortunately ppl have short memories... its same as 'blood diamonds' n sweatshops in india... last year a story came off that gap clothes were made by underage kids in india n Gap to their credit ended their relations wid that firm in new delhi...
clearly it rattled microsoft n it did its investigation... n... so it emerged, some justice has been done...
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/infotech/software/Microsofts-China-suppliers-get-2-wks-to-end-illegal-practices/articleshow/5826500.cms
are they going to severe ties with this company? not sure for now... similar thing happened with apple corp 2 weeks ago n they cleared the company in question...no news if the corporation under scrutiny made any changes in their labor policy... somehow the whole story seems ironic... china is considered a communist place n republicans in america deride china for its policies which they believe lead to unionization... n yet what is happening inside the factories in china is clearly a result because of corporate greed n capitalism being forced down the throats of these workers...
wid no labor costs.. it means a mouse being sold at 70$... is clearly getting the company at least 40-45$ in profit (considering packaging+die +circuit costs)... n these ppl r getting probably 10 cents on that mouse... for greed everything else is too little... for microsoft in particular this wud be hypocritical... bill gates has set up billions of dollars to solve problems of world... seems as if all that money is labeled already with sweat of others...
earning 1200$ per year? 65 cents /hour? n working 80 hours per week? that is inhumane!
unfortunately we cant stop buying products... cant also say that we'll buy products of their competitors... samsung, HP, lenovo... they all seem to be using this particular vendor...
but wud i be willing to pay somewhat more money if i were to know that, that money wud directly go to benefit these ppl - Yes...
but for now, i m glad that bringing this fact to world attention has paid off... gives hope for future of this planet n ppl who inhabit it... :)
Monday, January 18, 2010
Compassion n Consciouness...
fascinating :)
I remember seeing a documentary on this gorilla, her name was binto jua (thanks wiki for reminding me :P) saving a three year old kid who had fallen inside the gorillas cage and become unconscious... it had become story of the century...
these things are pretty unusual from many standards... for example, these instincts and traits are not shown by all the animals... lions or hyenas are in fact known to kill n eat their own sometimes... even gorillas are pretty much territorial n will kill... yet y wud certain animals behave this way is something we are not certain of... do their brains recognize as much like ours? do they 'think' and is their 'thinking' similar in complexity to ours? is it because we have all risen from the same primordial genomic mixture and hence share chromosomes identical in nature?
are the influenced by surroundings similarly as we humans are?? but then if that was true, we would expect animals in wild behave very differently from those who are house trained... and yet there are instances which defy this logic...
or is there something more simpler, theological happening under our skin? that the guiding light in animals too is a soul underneath which guides them to act in a certain manner?
in any case, one thing is certain: compassion n kindness are not solemn attributes of humans... in fact of all things I have seen in my life i hold these two virtues higher than any other human attribute...and animals are certainly capable of having these...
reminds me of r own bollywood has always shown animals capable of being more humane than humans itself... they have acted as maternal/paternal/brotherly/friendly relations bw humans n animals... from kabootars acting like delivery boys to dogs/monkeys always coming in for the rescue n save the just born baby from hands of villains (Jaya pradha as maa in movie maa? anyone)...
oh n here is that link of that video
Little Boy Falls Into A Gorilla Enclosure - Watch the top videos of the week here
You can hear the shrieks of ppl who are watching this thing unfold in horror... expecting gorillas to jump up and clobber the poor kid down...n yet the miracle happens...
I suggest that they should give a new definition of 'being human' and exclude all the barbarians who do not value life and instead include these other non-humans who act more humane than most of us... world will probably be a more simpler place to live in
I remember seeing a documentary on this gorilla, her name was binto jua (thanks wiki for reminding me :P) saving a three year old kid who had fallen inside the gorillas cage and become unconscious... it had become story of the century...
these things are pretty unusual from many standards... for example, these instincts and traits are not shown by all the animals... lions or hyenas are in fact known to kill n eat their own sometimes... even gorillas are pretty much territorial n will kill... yet y wud certain animals behave this way is something we are not certain of... do their brains recognize as much like ours? do they 'think' and is their 'thinking' similar in complexity to ours? is it because we have all risen from the same primordial genomic mixture and hence share chromosomes identical in nature?
are the influenced by surroundings similarly as we humans are?? but then if that was true, we would expect animals in wild behave very differently from those who are house trained... and yet there are instances which defy this logic...
or is there something more simpler, theological happening under our skin? that the guiding light in animals too is a soul underneath which guides them to act in a certain manner?
in any case, one thing is certain: compassion n kindness are not solemn attributes of humans... in fact of all things I have seen in my life i hold these two virtues higher than any other human attribute...and animals are certainly capable of having these...
reminds me of r own bollywood has always shown animals capable of being more humane than humans itself... they have acted as maternal/paternal/brotherly/friendly relations bw humans n animals... from kabootars acting like delivery boys to dogs/monkeys always coming in for the rescue n save the just born baby from hands of villains (Jaya pradha as maa in movie maa? anyone)...
oh n here is that link of that video
Little Boy Falls Into A Gorilla Enclosure - Watch the top videos of the week here
You can hear the shrieks of ppl who are watching this thing unfold in horror... expecting gorillas to jump up and clobber the poor kid down...n yet the miracle happens...
I suggest that they should give a new definition of 'being human' and exclude all the barbarians who do not value life and instead include these other non-humans who act more humane than most of us... world will probably be a more simpler place to live in
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Trip down the Information Wormhole lane
'NewsGeek'. For the uninitiated, this a special genus belonging to the species of 'Geeks' who excel in destroying their time by visiting news websites N number of times in a day with propensity to crunch more information data than munching burgers and french fries. Further subclassification divides this genus into numerous families such as 'WikiAddicts', 'TechAddicts', 'SportsAddicts', 'EcoAddicts', 'EntAddicts' etc etc etc. The addiction is often severe with most noted symptoms being
a) Having bookmarks belonging to newspapers/blogs/information sites
b) The second task you do after checking your email first thing in morning is to check these bookmarked websites
c) You use Google Reader/RSS feeders heavily to feed your never ending appetite of useless news and information with hope of using some pieces of using those news in making an interesting conversation for rest 90% of your life
d) You think the world will end tomorrow if you dont read what is happening and if it does, you dont want to NOT to know when and how is it ending
Twice have I tried to break away from this addiction. Not by choice, but entirely by a shift of situational paradigm imposed upon me by circumstances. And remarkably I discovered few things: such as 'The world didnt end. Lack of information can be a good thing. I can live without knowing each and everything happening around me
'. First time I was out for a week to the heavenly gates of pearl, totally surrounded by blushing mountains from three sides with fields of lilies, roses and green tracks in between on a much wanted trip. It was on way back I realized how happy I was and how that happiness took a hit when my eyes fell on a newsstand proclaiming souring relations between Israel and Palestine. Maybe 'Ignorance is truly a bliss'. But then I realized it is not about news as much as the quality of news which affects people the most.
Earlier there used to be one Doordarshan which would relay news once in morning, afternoon, evening and then night. All the important, worthwhile news used to get covered in those precise half and hour of news and for rest of the time you could go on to live your life happily in total oblivion to all the problems in the world. But now, with news bombarding us 24X7, its impossible to stay away from news. And 99% news is about human misery and problems. Yes they are important and are very much the realities of life, but I believe that too much of 'it' actually challenges our tenacity to remain hopeful of future. There are good things happening everywhere around us, but somehow their voice gets drowned amongst the much bellowing voices of fear, anger, hatred and cynicism.
And then I wondered, if a future is possible where I will wake up one day and all the news I hear is of 'Good' tone. Where instead of a headline saying 'Tsunami pounces and wipes millions', it reads 'People helping each other build lives once more after Tsunami fails to break them'. Unfortunately I know having a dream like that is utterly impossible for pain is as real as happiness and part of our lives.
But still I remain hopeful for such a day
And then I thought a little bit more and chuckled at few thoughts. How about waking up one day with news like these?
1. PTI reports, Taliban declare 'Enough is Enough... is Enough'. Weekend reports have confirmed that Taliban has accepted to give up fighting over peace negotiations with US. In lieu they have been promised unending supply of Coke because they wanted to 'Live on the Coke Side of Life' and 'Eftah Coca-Cola Tefrah'. Sources confirm that the idea of 72 virgins waiting for them lost its appeal when they realized that those virgins will be 72 clones of their wives. 'I'd rather marry a goat and carry it on my shoulder across Morghab or Panjshir than marrying that one in burqa. She doesnt even try wearing Lipstick for Gods sake'.
2. PTI reports, Riots break in a California Jail. Heavy waterfight reported between heavily armed water gun weilding Security forces and inmates who were protesting to receive next version of Counter Strike for their X-Box playstations. Inmates are supposed to have stockpiled hundreds of water balloons and are considered armed and dangerous. The Governor has brought Microsoft Games Chief to act as the tripartite peacebroker to diffuse the situation and explain when the shortage is expected to be met. A spokesman of PCS (Prisoners for Counter Strike) spoke of the daily humiliation the top 'Fraggers' among the prisoners have to sustain in hands of the Warden. 'They jam our Controllers just when we are about to frag them. This is corrupt, inhumane and fundamentally opposes the First Law of Electrodynamics and Constitution'. The spokesman further explained how the 'Frozen' avatars are stripped of their MP5s and P90s just before a covert war is going to begin in the Dungeon Level 4 rendering them at mercy of the opposing team. 'They enjoy seeing us getting fragged' was the last word he said before he broke down into tears. 'Many of these inmates are people who were Linux Users and are just beginning to apprecite Microsoft Games, we cant let them go back to Linux. Freezing them and taking their weapons away will surely drive them back to either Linux or worse to Apple. They just need a new game and complete control over their controllers, thats it'
3. Zardari Decides to play Kho Kho with Manmohan Singh at 10 Janpath. The closed door meeting held between India and Pakistan had a happy ending when it was decided that the fate of Kashmir would be decided by a game of Kho-Kho match between the politicians of the country one month from now. Our illustrious prime minister Shri Manmohan Singh Ji chose Shri Vajapeyi as the captain of our Kho-Kho Team while Musharraf is heading the Pakistani team. Shri Vajapeyi in his states-manly speech mentioned 'Humein............ Aaj....... yahaan............................ mauka mila hai.......................................................................................... ki................................................ hum...................................................................... kuch kar dikhayein....................................................Humein..........' His speech was then cut short by the Shri Lalu who started demanding a Motion in Lok Sabha to decide the T-shirt and Dhoti size for each of the player... 'dekhiye... humka to sirf is cheez se matlab hai, ki sab yihaan aayein, apne bestest form mein... aur humka des international commonitee mein apna dhaak jamaaye. Humraa Bihar mein logan bahoot achhe se dhoti baandhana jaantaa hai, woh sab players ko yahaan help karega to isse Unemployment bhi kam hoga. Dekhiye dhoti surakshit raha, to hi naa desh surakshit rahega, isliye hum chaahte hain ki agle chunaav mein hum dhoti ko apna party symbol banaayein'.... Arjun Singh ji is separately demanding 50% quota in the Kho-Kho team to the under-represented and OBC divisions of the Lok Sabha.
On the pakistani side, sources said they were having slight difficulty in making President Zardari understand the rules of the game, particularly the 'Pakad-Pakad' rule. Sources confirm that he is having difficult to let go of female team members. 'Aji kya musibat hai, sirf ladkiyon ko hi pakadte hain... Kal security bulani padi ladki ko chudaane ke liye. Bas 'Pakad Pakad Pakad' bolte rehte hain'. Nawaz Shareef has been found to listening to Hrithik Roshan's 'Haan yehi rasta hai tera, tune isey jaanaa hai' on his ipod while practicing his 500 meter runs daily.
I can cook up more such stories, but enough for now। Its getting hot in here and I should go and get a shower.
a) Having bookmarks belonging to newspapers/blogs/information sites
b) The second task you do after checking your email first thing in morning is to check these bookmarked websites
c) You use Google Reader/RSS feeders heavily to feed your never ending appetite of useless news and information with hope of using some pieces of using those news in making an interesting conversation for rest 90% of your life
d) You think the world will end tomorrow if you dont read what is happening and if it does, you dont want to NOT to know when and how is it ending
Twice have I tried to break away from this addiction. Not by choice, but entirely by a shift of situational paradigm imposed upon me by circumstances. And remarkably I discovered few things: such as 'The world didnt end. Lack of information can be a good thing. I can live without knowing each and everything happening around me
Earlier there used to be one Doordarshan which would relay news once in morning, afternoon, evening and then night. All the important, worthwhile news used to get covered in those precise half and hour of news and for rest of the time you could go on to live your life happily in total oblivion to all the problems in the world. But now, with news bombarding us 24X7, its impossible to stay away from news. And 99% news is about human misery and problems. Yes they are important and are very much the realities of life, but I believe that too much of 'it' actually challenges our tenacity to remain hopeful of future. There are good things happening everywhere around us, but somehow their voice gets drowned amongst the much bellowing voices of fear, anger, hatred and cynicism.
And then I wondered, if a future is possible where I will wake up one day and all the news I hear is of 'Good' tone. Where instead of a headline saying 'Tsunami pounces and wipes millions', it reads 'People helping each other build lives once more after Tsunami fails to break them'. Unfortunately I know having a dream like that is utterly impossible for pain is as real as happiness and part of our lives.
But still I remain hopeful for such a day
And then I thought a little bit more and chuckled at few thoughts. How about waking up one day with news like these?
1. PTI reports, Taliban declare 'Enough is Enough... is Enough'. Weekend reports have confirmed that Taliban has accepted to give up fighting over peace negotiations with US. In lieu they have been promised unending supply of Coke because they wanted to 'Live on the Coke Side of Life' and 'Eftah Coca-Cola Tefrah'. Sources confirm that the idea of 72 virgins waiting for them lost its appeal when they realized that those virgins will be 72 clones of their wives. 'I'd rather marry a goat and carry it on my shoulder across Morghab or Panjshir than marrying that one in burqa. She doesnt even try wearing Lipstick for Gods sake'.
2. PTI reports, Riots break in a California Jail. Heavy waterfight reported between heavily armed water gun weilding Security forces and inmates who were protesting to receive next version of Counter Strike for their X-Box playstations. Inmates are supposed to have stockpiled hundreds of water balloons and are considered armed and dangerous. The Governor has brought Microsoft Games Chief to act as the tripartite peacebroker to diffuse the situation and explain when the shortage is expected to be met. A spokesman of PCS (Prisoners for Counter Strike) spoke of the daily humiliation the top 'Fraggers' among the prisoners have to sustain in hands of the Warden. 'They jam our Controllers just when we are about to frag them. This is corrupt, inhumane and fundamentally opposes the First Law of Electrodynamics and Constitution'. The spokesman further explained how the 'Frozen' avatars are stripped of their MP5s and P90s just before a covert war is going to begin in the Dungeon Level 4 rendering them at mercy of the opposing team. 'They enjoy seeing us getting fragged' was the last word he said before he broke down into tears. 'Many of these inmates are people who were Linux Users and are just beginning to apprecite Microsoft Games, we cant let them go back to Linux. Freezing them and taking their weapons away will surely drive them back to either Linux or worse to Apple. They just need a new game and complete control over their controllers, thats it'
3. Zardari Decides to play Kho Kho with Manmohan Singh at 10 Janpath. The closed door meeting held between India and Pakistan had a happy ending when it was decided that the fate of Kashmir would be decided by a game of Kho-Kho match between the politicians of the country one month from now. Our illustrious prime minister Shri Manmohan Singh Ji chose Shri Vajapeyi as the captain of our Kho-Kho Team while Musharraf is heading the Pakistani team. Shri Vajapeyi in his states-manly speech mentioned 'Humein............ Aaj....... yahaan............................ mauka mila hai.......................................................................................... ki................................................ hum...................................................................... kuch kar dikhayein....................................................Humein..........' His speech was then cut short by the Shri Lalu who started demanding a Motion in Lok Sabha to decide the T-shirt and Dhoti size for each of the player... 'dekhiye... humka to sirf is cheez se matlab hai, ki sab yihaan aayein, apne bestest form mein... aur humka des international commonitee mein apna dhaak jamaaye. Humraa Bihar mein logan bahoot achhe se dhoti baandhana jaantaa hai, woh sab players ko yahaan help karega to isse Unemployment bhi kam hoga. Dekhiye dhoti surakshit raha, to hi naa desh surakshit rahega, isliye hum chaahte hain ki agle chunaav mein hum dhoti ko apna party symbol banaayein'.... Arjun Singh ji is separately demanding 50% quota in the Kho-Kho team to the under-represented and OBC divisions of the Lok Sabha.
On the pakistani side, sources said they were having slight difficulty in making President Zardari understand the rules of the game, particularly the 'Pakad-Pakad' rule. Sources confirm that he is having difficult to let go of female team members. 'Aji kya musibat hai, sirf ladkiyon ko hi pakadte hain... Kal security bulani padi ladki ko chudaane ke liye. Bas 'Pakad Pakad Pakad' bolte rehte hain'. Nawaz Shareef has been found to listening to Hrithik Roshan's 'Haan yehi rasta hai tera, tune isey jaanaa hai' on his ipod while practicing his 500 meter runs daily.
I can cook up more such stories, but enough for now। Its getting hot in here and I should go and get a shower.
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