When the Earth Jolts

http://kristof.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/03/11/sympathy-for-japan-and-admiration/?smid=fb-nytimes&WT.mc_id=OP-SM-E-FB-SM-LIN-SFT-031111-NYT-NA&WT.mc_ev=click

Watching the pics and videos of the earthquake hit areas, i cudnt help but notice that people were not going crazy as one might have expected them to behave while facing such destruction... I remember watching live streams from Hurricane Katrina (US, 2005) and Haiti last year and it was painful to see many embracing their inner demons and assailing other victims with their basic instincts run amok... in treacherous times they were, and my sympathies are for their losses, but as Japanese are showing right now, even victims have a choice of choosing their behavior under extreme duress...

Of course, people coming out to help and support each other is not new, and we have seen it being put into practice in India during Bhuj and Tsunami, but Japanese are better in that than us... and I do not think it is because of difference in fiscal states between India and Japan... No... it is rather because the social fabric of Japan remains strong, their sense of purpose as a nation and pride remain indelibly strong, and that creates a structure for them to conduct themselves in ways befitting of their beliefs...

Although there are countless things which ail Japanese society... I always thought the idea of seppuchu was a bit extreme... that a growing number of old people there are turning to be more lascivious with weird fetishes, and that the 'workaholic' culture is not stable in long term...
but
I have always admired Japanese for their sense of purpose, and their social fabric... i have always loved the idea that although they are pioneers in creating humanoids and geminoids, they have maintained respect for their age old customs, traditions and social hierarchy - to point that they can be accused of being completely inflexible... still, the intertwining of old with new is the best way to look into future and Japanese have mastered that in their culture...

In any case, this is not the last time i will bemoan about changes I wish to see in India and around the world... but it is time to think about what is happening in Japan... and pray for them...

May God placate the Earth...

The DNA of future...

Beautiful video and short but compelling narrative...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY59wZdCDo0

The dream of a better future lives on and thrives on shoulders of those who can think beyond our petty differences and realize that we all are residents of one terrafirma... that the mathematical probability of our accidental existence on this little 'pale blue dot' in the vast incomprehensible universe is so significantly small, that it is the most significant event in the known universe....

looking around its hard to imagine if peace is ever possible on this planet... it appears to me that 'peace' is as mythical as a unicorn or the one-eyed monster... and I can't help but wonder again and again, if war and discontent is in our blood? if its ingrained in our DNA? Is there an anger switch in our genes? a gene for jealousy?

we all have come long way since the early cave man discovered fire and made weapons out of rocks... and yet it appears that in spite of all the evolutionary progress, our aggression hasnt tempered down... and I know I can't blame evolution for this anomaly... evolution never really got a chance to change us in significan't ways...

i have read about 'ram rajya'... the mythical times when there was peace upon earth... I dont know whether it existed in reality or not... but look back at the history and one might realize that in reality there was never a long period of peace on this earth... if there is an anger gene, it never got a chance to mutate because there simply was never a time when its need wasnt there...

but now that we are in present state, living with traits which have been trickling down to us since centuries, what pathways lie before us to circumvent our problems and attain the higher goal of peace and progress??

For long I thought religion can provide us a guiding path... but the idea of religion has failed in my viewpoint... our sense of ingrained tradition and reverence to authority is so great that we cannot look beyond the veils of tradition to realize that all religions speak a common language... Every time the discussion on philosophy of religion begins, it ends up in arguments over supremacy of ones religion over another... this road has been walked upon too often and now its time for trying something else... and one simple solution against religion is have larger faith in science...

the conflict between science and religion has long been overstated... for long have the speakers of religions spoken in ardor of the cold and non-emotional state of science as an existential threat to our society and general way of living... and like many others, I believe that this threat is fueled by what they do not understand and perhaps by their fear of being castigated by others... in reality, both science and religion aspire to answer some very similar questions... science is more spiritual than the spirituality imbibed in the idea of religion itself...

while I am big fan of Sir Richard Dawkins, I do not completely share his arguments that religion is 'root of all evil'.... I find my viewpoint much more matched with ideas of our present 'his holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama'... A true seeker of truth and god, he has shown that how science and religion can live in a symbiotic relation...

one might argue that there is certain degree of authoritarianism in science... and that we have to take words of Einstein, Newton and many others as granted... so... yes like all religions, there is authority and tradition in science too... but this authority is by no means unchallenged, and their words are rarely taken for granted... in fact in science we know that those who are revered were by no means perfect and were fallible because they were normal people amongst us... they were not immortals, however their achievements and accomplishments have survived against the rigorous test of time...

in some ways, their beliefs were as magical as any religious story... the discovery of bulb and electricity gave the power to remove darkness in our hands... isnt it as powerful as story of a rock being stopped by Baba Nanak or story of the entire Govardhan parwat lifted by lord Krishna?... thats why am rooting for science... for it is a universal religion and transcends any border and free from prejudice of authority and irrationality....

n am hoping that someday... maybe someday science can provide us with some solutions... a flu shot against anger... a vaccine against jealousy... a pill against hunger... or simply a flu shot which opens our eyes and enlightens us and makes us realize that what separates us also binds us...

Of Paul and Football

as you might have come to know.... the world has recently woken up to tunes of gentle rolling of octopuses... considering the gulf is on fire, seems octopuses have chosen an alternative lifestyle - to be a psychic... :) and guaranteed they are not getting pina-coladas, but i dont suppose they have any crib notes on their current lifestyle
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/world-cup/blog?entryID=5361798&name=worldcup2010blog&cc=5901&ver=us

forget mathematical models based on multivariate analysis to predict market predictions.... its time... for every1 to get new pets - octopuses....
its little wonder how these gentle creatures of underworld have escaped tentacles of mankind ;) (u get it how sweetly i introduced tentacles here - octopuses have tentacles and not men... funny :D well never mind if u dont find it funny, just read ahead)

considering one of the most technologically advanced countries believes in Paul, goes to prove the daily humdrum of science cannot breach the fabric of unknown to look as efficiently in future, as Paul can...

anyhows, with Paul have lately become fond of the idea of having octopuses as pets... in my opinion, they are better than dogs n cats... n here's why

the tentacles of octopuses, they are so strong that were u hanging on a rope like Sylvester Stallone in Cliffhanger, u mite use them to pull urself up... so they are life savers... what does a dog or cats tail do other than wagging?

octopuses are like mini vacuum cleaners with their small holes in their tentacles... so they are house cleaners

octopuses can kill sharks and that too with their bare hands ;)... so they are more awesome than you, me and all humanity combined together...

they are pretty intense dancers.. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUB4VvafnJ4)

you are down and hit rock bottom? just approach your friendly pet octopus.... with too many hands, they can hold you, your coffee and tissues at same time... aint that sweet

you are high and need some1 to hi-five??? you'll never find the friendly octopus out of hands to give u what u want...

Octopuses are psychics... period

and the list can go on... but hopefully you get my point...

so next time u r in a position of life n death... when there are situations beyond ur control... like the time when u cant decide what milk carton to choose - 2% organic or skimmed milk... remember Paul and ask for his advice and strength to carry you through such tough times...

till then, m logging off to head to Newport Aquarium to find my own personal psychic....

Of Dolphins and Sea Monster

This is a work of fiction and any resemblance between the characters and persons living or dead is purely coincidental.... (In any case, I am not famous or have enough money if you are planning to sue me. Although I do have a towel in my possession which I am very much attached to since last four years. It’s a good towel - just tender enough to slowly diminish my rate of settlement on chair to a level where I can firmly position myself without flinching and just hard enough to smack a spider on the wall. As anyone will tell you, a good towel is hard to find.)



(today)
Booooooooooooom.

(yesterday)
For months the DolphX News Channel had been locked into a debate which had invited every known famous Dolphin from all around the world.
'It's not gonna happen' chimed Dr Felicitious Closedoptica.
'I agree, it ain't gonna happen' said the all-knowing pundit Christopher Doodlehead.
'But if it happens, it will slowly take over our kingdom. We do not know what can come out of it? The legend of Mandolph talks of the giant sea monster which shall awaken one day and cover the entire world with a venom so dark, that there will be blood everywhere' - the lone voice of Dr Factodian Truthadux protested.

(* the legend of Mandolph... it was more of a myth now... the type of myth which everyone agreed was just a myth and decidedly false, yet there was a consensus that it should be feared nevertheless... That is the fate of legends... passing on from a generation to next and getting diluted every time until one day it becomes one of the ‘stupid and hilarious stories’ the grandpa used to foretell…

For long the Dolphin Kingdom had been living in perfect harmony with other inhabitants of the sea... The new born were taken care of... The shrimp and other food industry was regulated properly and everyone agreed happily paid their taxes to help the unfortunate few who had their fins or tails cut off in some unfortunate accident... yes, once or twice there were some impropriety... like the time Mrs. Readbeak ran off with much married Mr. Tukoto Kosami - father of Kosami klan of Japanese waters. But overall, it was very much a dull happy place. Food was in plenty. There was plenty of room and dolphins from around the world were invited with open fins… there was no anti- immigration law and racial profiling was unheard of… although the dolphins from Pacific were often ridiculed for their unbearingly voice modulations… There was just too much C-sharp in them which made them sing like a tuning fork… *)

‘The myth of Mandolph?? That is a heap of diggity-doogity goo goo my friend. No one believes it. There is no evidence of a sea monster. The only monster I have seen was my physical instructor back in high school and he made me clean all the reef one time. Now I know they are not the most intelligent of the species, but surely no one is so stupid to do a suicide as the legend says.’ said Dr Closedoptica.

‘I am sorry, but have you forsaken our own history in prejudice of our present times? Our much worshipped ancestors moved to land from the sea. But they had to return back to sea once again for they could not see the destruction caused by the upperdwellers. The Book of Mandolph specifically talks about the potential of upperdwellers to cause depredation everywhere they go. There savage desires know no bounds. Our wise ancestors had warned us that one day, the lust of upperdwellers will seep into our worlds and awaken the giant monster which will be the end of our world as we know it. WE NEED TO BE PREPARED FOR THOSE MOMENTS’ – said Dr. Truthadux almost screamingly.

‘I am sorry Dr. but there is no need to be so much in alarm. We have witnessed them over several centuries. Surely we have seen them over years. There is an agreement between them and us now. Look at the history, look at the number of their lives our kinsdolphins have saved. They have no business down here! Yes, sometimes some of our members have been captured, but then they were the ones who had breached to surface and trespassed onto forbidden zones. We cannot blame upperdwellers for the foolhardy actions of our kin.’ uttered Mr. Doodlehead .

‘Look, are you so blind to see the upperdwellers are already encroaching upon our lands? For months we have seen them putting their things in the sea. Have you looked at that long piece of tube drilling on our basin and slowly churning the sea. I am telling you, we do not know its motives. Don’t be so naïve to trust that upperdwellers are doing this with all the goodness in their heart. They do not care of us. It is about the lives of our children’ – said Dr. Truthadux.

‘I disagree, I think Dr Truthadux is raising an alarm which should not be raised. We threaten no one, we are the gentlest of sea creatures, the upper dwellers think we are adorable… yeah, that is what I have heard them say sometimes… surely they need us and the sea as much as we need it… There is no sea monster here! There is no reason to move an entire country just because of a myth‘ said Mr. Doodlehead.

‘Yes, We have already sealed the entire area and passed the order not to go around that tube. That should take care of things‘ said Dr. Closedoptica.

(today)
The Sea Monster gushed forth from the beds of the sea… In a moment, the chest of the sea was ripped apart and laid bare as the ‘Sea Monster’ awakened from thousands of years of sleep… just as the legend foretold…

And then there was darkness forever…

Of Oil and Water

unbelievable...
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/30/AR2010053002195.html?hpid=topnews

so let me get this straight
we can go to moon
we can build a bomb to nuke every damn planet/bacteria/virus on this condemned planet
we can wipe off entire forests, entire wastelands and marshes
we can make planes and robots which can go and excavate mars and find water there
we can make tallest buildings which defy gravity and blur sense of real with illusion

but we cannot fix a damn hole???

the keepers of green dollar bills and gold coins forget that this planet belongs to none, that it is a gift from ancestors to be passed on to coming generations...oil companies in particular have had a long tradition of devaluing human life for monetary gains and establishment of their world order... Atrocities by Shell in Nigeria and their role in death of Ken Saro, destruction of Ecuadorian rainforests by Chevron, Exxon Mobil and Indonesia... the list goes endless... I am reminded of a scene from the movie 'Blood Diamond' in which an african old man thanks god that the white people came and found diamonds... n then he wonders it could have been worst if they had found oil instead...

they keep on harping upon our dependence on oil... that there is no possible solution to circumvent our dependence on remains of algae and sea weed spread on ocean floor over period of billions of years...
seriously??? is finding such a solution that complicated...

for starters, why not imagine a place, what if there was never such an oil for us to use at first place? i believe in resourcefulness of mankind and m utterly sure that instead of keeping on burning wood and coal, we would have found a sound solution to this problem... maybe too many windfarms, too many geothermal vents...

Yeah US is leading on research for alternative methods of fueling... but it is stumbling... the right winged lunatic fringe of this country is totally devoid of any sense of real and it is they who are pushing this country on a brink of catastrophic edge... to me it almost seems that for India and rest of the world, there is not much time left... the sense of urgency to secure viable, long termed energy solutions which can overcome the dismayed projections of future need to be there and that too right now... What sort of planet are we planning to gift our coming generations? I pledge to do whatever it is in my power to make my impact on this planet as harmless as possible...

this is one of the saddest event I am witnessing in my lifetime...

Of Aliens and Earthlings

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/space/article7107207.ece

i guess one side effect of being a sc-fi lover happens to be dealing with thinking numerous ways we can get obliterated :D
m glad that a scientist as eminent as Stephen hawking is moving this concern beyond the realm of sci-fi though... the analogy he has drawn for relations bw aliens with us and native Americans with Columbus is hardly an outcome of some conspiracy theory and beyond possibility of probability... i definitely believe there are aliens out there... and i can bet my life that they are not all carbon based life forms... and I am not even going to discuss Drake Equation or Fermi's paradox in that context...
I think one of the biggest mistakes our scientists have been doing for very long time have been to search for extra-terrestrial life in form of 'life' as we see 'life' as... which is a grave mistake... same units of life form can be based on Silicon... or Iron in some unique bonding which we might not be aware of... already in last 5 years, we have come across several forms of extremophiles which have changed our thinking of life... and that's just on our planet...
if u think of life on this planet and think of how many ways we can get annihilated, perhaps you will bend down on ur knees and start kissing ground when the realization dawns on how lucky we are to be alive... and how our small inconsequential worries matter zilch when it comes to the big cosmos...
our planet is in peril... its a precarious territory...

i know for what i m about to say i may be ridiculed, and justifiably so... and yeah, we can all put everything on shoulders of 'God' and give up saying 'what is gonna happen, is gonna happen'... before m labeled as 'depressive soul' or 'negative thinker' or a 'doomsayer' let me assure u, m not... but at same time i also believe in being cautious and i think there r things which shud genuinely worry us and we shud think of what ever we can do about them.... and yet m positive that our survival over last millennium is no mistake... future is going to be exciting with many great things which are ready to explode and unfold in coming few years... n each of us need to be ready for making it better and making sure our probability of survival is as much as possible...

i fervently believe that future belongs to science... if u look at the sci-fi movies like 2012, independence day, deep impact... one concept is central to all of them... in any impending gloom the governments around the world are going to do their best to make sure human race survives... and they do so by choosing 'few'... what r chances of getting picked among those 'few',,, well for one - either u need to be filthy rich like ambanis or offer something valuable to human race... be an eminent scientist, an eminent engineer, an eminent doctor, an astrophysicist, a neurosurgeon... (an eminent dancer? probably not).... yes, i know we cannot be that now... its too late for us... but this is not about us... this is about the coming generations - our children, our grandchildren... you want them to survive and carry on their shoulders the beautiful memories of this dying planet... they need to be 'best' n they need to be 'useful'... doesn't mean kids cant have fun... in fact i think no one has more fun than some1 who is involved in science n technology... they don't need to give up on waltz or music lessons... but we need to show them beauty of finding unknown...

as for ourselves... there r things we can do... i for one have been very cautious on use of plastic for long n try to use them minimally... n m going to minimize it further... its always sad to see whales washing on beaches, dying and having 10 gallon worth of plastic inside them... its always sad to see that there is a continent of plastic as big as Texas floating in pacific ocean... n not to talk of numerous ways global warming is effecting India and the whole world... it pains me to see a common man struggling to survive in the sweltering heat n ppl queuing up for mile for water which is rationed on daily use... n i have some other plans, which m not gonna divulge because they r too crazy to be disclosed :D

but somehow i feel safe too when i see likes of great leaders like dean kamen, ray kurzweil, al gore, narayan murthy, bill gates n so many others working and struggling to give us all a fighting chance to survive... when all of us are totally unconcerned n take everything around us for granted... we are safe because of ppl like them... n someday i wud like to see our children join ranks of such eminent ppl - who think of it as 'gaia' and love it as "na'vi" people did of Pandora...

yeah... its a lengthy diatribe... n probably m somewhat crazy :D

but well i cant shut up :D

so all the ridicule is formally invited... :D

Of Ethics and responsibilities

this article is clearly written by someone whose heart cries for these ppl n wants the corporations who bring some change...

http://www.nlcnet.org/reports?id=0034&t=1

hats off to the journalistic endeavor... particularly since getting pics outta places like these is huge task...
i guess the idea is that corporations dont give a damn about conditions of labor... but hopefully the ppl do...unfortunately ppl have short memories... its same as 'blood diamonds' n sweatshops in india... last year a story came off that gap clothes were made by underage kids in india n Gap to their credit ended their relations wid that firm in new delhi...

clearly it rattled microsoft n it did its investigation... n... so it emerged, some justice has been done...
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/infotech/software/Microsofts-China-suppliers-get-2-wks-to-end-illegal-practices/articleshow/5826500.cms

are they going to severe ties with this company? not sure for now... similar thing happened with apple corp 2 weeks ago n they cleared the company in question...no news if the corporation under scrutiny made any changes in their labor policy... somehow the whole story seems ironic... china is considered a communist place n republicans in america deride china for its policies which they believe lead to unionization... n yet what is happening inside the factories in china is clearly a result because of corporate greed n capitalism being forced down the throats of these workers...

wid no labor costs.. it means a mouse being sold at 70$... is clearly getting the company at least 40-45$ in profit (considering packaging+die +circuit costs)... n these ppl r getting probably 10 cents on that mouse... for greed everything else is too little... for microsoft in particular this wud be hypocritical... bill gates has set up billions of dollars to solve problems of world... seems as if all that money is labeled already with sweat of others...

earning 1200$ per year? 65 cents /hour? n working 80 hours per week? that is inhumane!

unfortunately we cant stop buying products... cant also say that we'll buy products of their competitors... samsung, HP, lenovo... they all seem to be using this particular vendor...
but wud i be willing to pay somewhat more money if i were to know that, that money wud directly go to benefit these ppl - Yes...

but for now, i m glad that bringing this fact to world attention has paid off... gives hope for future of this planet n ppl who inhabit it... :)

Compassion n Consciouness...

fascinating :)



I remember seeing a documentary on this gorilla, her name was binto jua (thanks wiki for reminding me :P) saving a three year old kid who had fallen inside the gorillas cage and become unconscious... it had become story of the century...
these things are pretty unusual from many standards... for example, these instincts and traits are not shown by all the animals... lions or hyenas are in fact known to kill n eat their own sometimes... even gorillas are pretty much territorial n will kill... yet y wud certain animals behave this way is something we are not certain of... do their brains recognize as much like ours? do they 'think' and is their 'thinking' similar in complexity to ours? is it because we have all risen from the same primordial genomic mixture and hence share chromosomes identical in nature?
are the influenced by surroundings similarly as we humans are?? but then if that was true, we would expect animals in wild behave very differently from those who are house trained... and yet there are instances which defy this logic...

or is there something more simpler, theological happening under our skin? that the guiding light in animals too is a soul underneath which guides them to act in a certain manner?

in any case, one thing is certain: compassion n kindness are not solemn attributes of humans... in fact of all things I have seen in my life i hold these two virtues higher than any other human attribute...and animals are certainly capable of having these...

reminds me of r own bollywood has always shown animals capable of being more humane than humans itself... they have acted as maternal/paternal/brotherly/friendly relations bw humans n animals... from kabootars acting like delivery boys to dogs/monkeys always coming in for the rescue n save the just born baby from hands of villains (Jaya pradha as maa in movie maa? anyone)...

oh n here is that link of that video


Little Boy Falls Into A Gorilla Enclosure - Watch the top videos of the week here

You can hear the shrieks of ppl who are watching this thing unfold in horror... expecting gorillas to jump up and clobber the poor kid down...n yet the miracle happens...

I suggest that they should give a new definition of 'being human' and exclude all the barbarians who do not value life and instead include these other non-humans who act more humane than most of us... world will probably be a more simpler place to live in

Trip down the Information Wormhole lane

'NewsGeek'. For the uninitiated, this a special genus belonging to the species of 'Geeks' who excel in destroying their time by visiting news websites N number of times in a day with propensity to crunch more information data than munching burgers and french fries. Further subclassification divides this genus into numerous families such as 'WikiAddicts', 'TechAddicts', 'SportsAddicts', 'EcoAddicts', 'EntAddicts' etc etc etc. The addiction is often severe with most noted symptoms being
a) Having bookmarks belonging to newspapers/blogs/information sites
b) The second task you do after checking your email first thing in morning is to check these bookmarked websites
c) You use Google Reader/RSS feeders heavily to feed your never ending appetite of useless news and information with hope of using some pieces of using those news in making an interesting conversation for rest 90% of your life
d) You think the world will end tomorrow if you dont read what is happening and if it does, you dont want to NOT to know when and how is it ending

Twice have I tried to break away from this addiction. Not by choice, but entirely by a shift of situational paradigm imposed upon me by circumstances. And remarkably I discovered few things: such as 'The world didnt end. Lack of information can be a good thing. I can live without knowing each and everything happening around me '. First time I was out for a week to the heavenly gates of pearl, totally surrounded by blushing mountains from three sides with fields of lilies, roses and green tracks in between on a much wanted trip. It was on way back I realized how happy I was and how that happiness took a hit when my eyes fell on a newsstand proclaiming souring relations between Israel and Palestine. Maybe 'Ignorance is truly a bliss'. But then I realized it is not about news as much as the quality of news which affects people the most.
Earlier there used to be one Doordarshan which would relay news once in morning, afternoon, evening and then night. All the important, worthwhile news used to get covered in those precise half and hour of news and for rest of the time you could go on to live your life happily in total oblivion to all the problems in the world. But now, with news bombarding us 24X7, its impossible to stay away from news. And 99% news is about human misery and problems. Yes they are important and are very much the realities of life, but I believe that too much of 'it' actually challenges our tenacity to remain hopeful of future. There are good things happening everywhere around us, but somehow their voice gets drowned amongst the much bellowing voices of fear, anger, hatred and cynicism.

And then I wondered, if a future is possible where I will wake up one day and all the news I hear is of 'Good' tone. Where instead of a headline saying 'Tsunami pounces and wipes millions', it reads 'People helping each other build lives once more after Tsunami fails to break them'. Unfortunately I know having a dream like that is utterly impossible for pain is as real as happiness and part of our lives.
But still I remain hopeful for such a day
And then I thought a little bit more and chuckled at few thoughts. How about waking up one day with news like these?

1. PTI reports, Taliban declare 'Enough is Enough... is Enough'. Weekend reports have confirmed that Taliban has accepted to give up fighting over peace negotiations with US. In lieu they have been promised unending supply of Coke because they wanted to 'Live on the Coke Side of Life' and 'Eftah Coca-Cola Tefrah'. Sources confirm that the idea of 72 virgins waiting for them lost its appeal when they realized that those virgins will be 72 clones of their wives. 'I'd rather marry a goat and carry it on my shoulder across Morghab or Panjshir than marrying that one in burqa. She doesnt even try wearing Lipstick for Gods sake'.

2. PTI reports, Riots break in a California Jail. Heavy waterfight reported between heavily armed water gun weilding Security forces and inmates who were protesting to receive next version of Counter Strike for their X-Box playstations. Inmates are supposed to have stockpiled hundreds of water balloons and are considered armed and dangerous. The Governor has brought Microsoft Games Chief to act as the tripartite peacebroker to diffuse the situation and explain when the shortage is expected to be met. A spokesman of PCS (Prisoners for Counter Strike) spoke of the daily humiliation the top 'Fraggers' among the prisoners have to sustain in hands of the Warden. 'They jam our Controllers just when we are about to frag them. This is corrupt, inhumane and fundamentally opposes the First Law of Electrodynamics and Constitution'. The spokesman further explained how the 'Frozen' avatars are stripped of their MP5s and P90s just before a covert war is going to begin in the Dungeon Level 4 rendering them at mercy of the opposing team. 'They enjoy seeing us getting fragged' was the last word he said before he broke down into tears. 'Many of these inmates are people who were Linux Users and are just beginning to apprecite Microsoft Games, we cant let them go back to Linux. Freezing them and taking their weapons away will surely drive them back to either Linux or worse to Apple. They just need a new game and complete control over their controllers, thats it'

3. Zardari Decides to play Kho Kho with Manmohan Singh at 10 Janpath. The closed door meeting held between India and Pakistan had a happy ending when it was decided that the fate of Kashmir would be decided by a game of Kho-Kho match between the politicians of the country one month from now. Our illustrious prime minister Shri Manmohan Singh Ji chose Shri Vajapeyi as the captain of our Kho-Kho Team while Musharraf is heading the Pakistani team. Shri Vajapeyi in his states-manly speech mentioned 'Humein............ Aaj....... yahaan............................ mauka mila hai.......................................................................................... ki................................................ hum...................................................................... kuch kar dikhayein....................................................Humein..........' His speech was then cut short by the Shri Lalu who started demanding a Motion in Lok Sabha to decide the T-shirt and Dhoti size for each of the player... 'dekhiye... humka to sirf is cheez se matlab hai, ki sab yihaan aayein, apne bestest form mein... aur humka des international commonitee mein apna dhaak jamaaye. Humraa Bihar mein logan bahoot achhe se dhoti baandhana jaantaa hai, woh sab players ko yahaan help karega to isse Unemployment bhi kam hoga. Dekhiye dhoti surakshit raha, to hi naa desh surakshit rahega, isliye hum chaahte hain ki agle chunaav mein hum dhoti ko apna party symbol banaayein'.... Arjun Singh ji is separately demanding 50% quota in the Kho-Kho team to the under-represented and OBC divisions of the Lok Sabha.
On the pakistani side, sources said they were having slight difficulty in making President Zardari understand the rules of the game, particularly the 'Pakad-Pakad' rule. Sources confirm that he is having difficult to let go of female team members. 'Aji kya musibat hai, sirf ladkiyon ko hi pakadte hain... Kal security bulani padi ladki ko chudaane ke liye. Bas 'Pakad Pakad Pakad' bolte rehte hain'. Nawaz Shareef has been found to listening to Hrithik Roshan's 'Haan yehi rasta hai tera, tune isey jaanaa hai' on his ipod while practicing his 500 meter runs daily.

I can cook up more such stories, but enough for now। Its getting hot in here and I should go and get a shower.

The Ingular Doctrine

As I was going through the latest huffpost couple of days ago, my eyes caught attention on an ad about the latest attempt by Microsoft to unseat Google - Bing.com. 'You are defined by the choices you make' - said the catchphrase. An intelligent but simple ad, much better than the Seinfeld-gates attempt which reeked of antiquated humor.

From then it was a predictable journey wherein I began thinking on length, breadth and height of that statement. I looked back and thought of some choices made by me and people I intimately know and pondered over their implications over future. And there in, immersed in the pool of those interluding thoughts I realized the fallacy in that statement. I am of course talking about 's'. Now I know some may say 'Not Again'. 'Not another war with another alphabet'. I know you may also throw your arms up in the air and say, its a simple alphabet, what harm can it possible do, Leave it alone. But as I have mentioned previously, DO NOT EVER TAKE ALPHABETS LIGHTLY. I know its used everywhere, heck I am using it right now in my words as I speak. But see the thing is... the thing is... s is only as good as long as WE control it. Its a whole different ball game when s starts to control us. See, I believe that the world would be much of a simple place if there were no plural (do u notice, i have cunningly removed s in the end?).

Choice and Choices

Chance and Chances

Car and Cars

Imagine. You had a piece of bread. Any intelligent man would know what to do. Eat it.

Now imagine, you had breads. You can eat one or may be two or three. But what do you do with rest of them? Do you store them? Do you share it with your incessantly annoying brother? A whole Pandora's box opens up with so many options, and so much processing required. As I say if you gotta think over something, you better outsource it to the call center in Delhi. Do you see what I am talking about? I eventually would need a call center to tell me what to do with that bread. All that nuisance just because of an extra s.

The power of one s has been befuddling me. And there in lies my core belief - that all good things come in singular. War has habit to become Wars but there is only one Peace- no Peaces. May be people won't kill or deceive each other if they knew that they had only one choice of being good. May be we won't waste paper if we knew all that paper comes from just a tree.

Now I imagine there will be these radicals who will voice that its this s and that the gift of choosing is the greatest gift bestowed upon mankind. To them I say 'you are wrongs'. I know these people will argue that all species make choices but none can process information as eloquently as us humans and its this processing which makes our daily mundane life a tad bit different tomorrow from what is today. To them I say again 'you are wrongs'.

Here is my argument: The Universe spiraled into what it is today because it had only one choice. It had to bang in a big way. What could it do? Burst like a pop-corn. That is for wimps. What kind of starting would that be? It would be so simple that even a caveman could write a book on origins of our universe. Then where would all our नाड़ा theorists (string theorists) go??? Could there be any other choice other than nuclear fusion to make stars, galaxies and our milky way (suck up nuclear fission!). Does black hole have a choice in deciding whom it should eat and whom it should spare? Answer to all of these is of course a resounding NO.

Then why must we not follow what our billion year old wise universe has been telling us. Why must I decide every morning when I wake up: should I apply butter or fruit jam on my Sara Lee 100% Wheat bread?

No I don't fault you for believing that having options is a good thing. It is because we have evolved ourselves to believe that way. And that is another problem given birth by s - Evolution. Single cell bacteria evolved to multi-cellular organisms, which evolved to make fish, which evolved to make amphibians, and the dinosaurs, then the big G (the God) realized 'holy crap, I ordered humans not dinosaurs', so he sent an asteroid to clean bowl them over. And then he put up a new bid and apes formed which evolved into humans.

All this because Evolution had choices. Now imagine if it had not gone that way. If DNA had only one choice to decide our fate. We would be like Mr. Phillis Dexter

Mr. Phillis Dexter

Would that be so awful?? That we all humans/species look like him. There would no fights, no ego problems, everyone would be Mr/Mrs Universe. We would be living in a Utopia. And is that not what all aspire for?

But I know people will not realize the gravity of this situation. They think s as simple and harmless. People who have played 'finding the word' in a map would appreciate that sometimes the most difficult word to find is the one which is 'just there' - big, bold and even italicized perhaps. We spend our time to find that word hoping it has been perhaps written in font size 7, and that is why is invisible. But No. The brazenness of that cunning word lies in hiding itself in plain sight. That is exactly what this s has been doing. Sitting silently and watching the world ruin itself.

If it were up to me, I would urge UN to ban s from the world. You wake up one morning and all words with s gone. Puffff. Just like that. Try speaking following lines

Mom, can I get ome ugar for my milk??

Excue Me, you hould not take your hoes in temple. It i acred.

And in forms you will have to fill 'Ex: Male/Female' (now would that not be interesting question to answer :D)

Wa it too hard?

I know its a long shot. The way s has penetrated in our daily life is so deep that we might never be able to free ourselves from its slavery. But we must rise against the tyranny and hegemonic leadership of s. At least at the minimum we must immediately stop it use in all suffix. We might need to retire it before it retires us and substitute it with some different alphabet. Perhaps a Q or a Z. Both of them have been under appreciated in our culture. May be its time to bring them to limelight.

But until then, may I be bold enough to pray for you to live life one choice at a time :) And may that choice be easy to make....

War of Months...

Long long time ago, came the twelve months together

and promised to form a year, to live under the same banner

Some had odd no of days and some were happy to be even

They shared different seasons under the same skies and heaven

Pain or pleasure come what may

would be distributed in equal say

With time the months of odd

grew odds with months of even

Because of the extra day they thought they had

they thought they had to endure pain more bad

They formed a group headed by the July

a month of rains they thought could rely

Evens had no choice but to choose the June

a month of summers they thought was more attune

In an open meadow one fine sunny day

they met under a tree with swords drawn and made of clay

June tried to reason with July

We are all the same, parts of same tribe

You think you have an extra day of pain

but for us evens its same pain compressed in 30 days

We feel more fraction of pain everyday

the same which you feel in 31 days

But July wouldn't listen.

Months of odd made fun and ridiculed

the months with less than 31 days

July found an August company who came handy

with a chocolate cake and candy

Accused June and ones with 30 days

of playing a difficult game and eating ruffles lays

The months of even stunned and amazed

This turnaround befuddled them and left them in haze

Months of even reminded the odds of times they had

that each month followed the others no matter how bad

But months of odd laughed and said it was all in good sense

and so they went different ways beyond times fence

A year got split in the two

February was lonely as it was at times even and at times odd

so the evens took it under their umbrella broad

thus now we have months without Junes summer breeze

without July's cloudy skies

Without Decembers cold winters

And without April's springy surprise

Evens looked, shook their head and went on

Looked back couple of times

and saw months of odd in celebrations

happy in the clan of extra days they dined in their mansions

Then after a time long gone by

times that paled those sunny skies

the months of odd talked once again but of being slain

of fading echoes and ankles with sprain

Standing with new company, they muttered about autumn frost

It was a choice involving more than a stamps cost

If only they could see what others had to sustain

They would have not killed the very dreams

they had promised to nurture and maintain

and the year would still be together

but saying all this is just is vain

a year, a month are just another piece of a long chain

Seasons of spring, winter, autumn and summer

will return and bare earth will touch the feel of rain again

I, Robot and I want a diaper

Time and again I have tried to put this very clear that I am a 'dreamer'. And yeah yeah I am not the only one. Yada. Yada. But I take the business of dreaming more seriously than anyone else (except John Dorion). I have fought more ghosts in my dream to put ghostbusters to shame. I have rescued princesses more number of times than Prince of Persia and I have reveled in more cheesecake than which can be churned by The Cheesecake Factory. Not only that, I have single handedly won every major Nobel, Grammy, Oscar and Victoria’s Cross than a mere mortal is allowed to boast of. Just other night I won an Emmy for playing Mr Garcia, the horse rider. Its a show in which Mr Garcia rides the horse. No other character or dialogues, just Mr. Garcia and the horse. And - listen this, recently I lived inside my apartment for 14 consecutive days and survived on drinking, eating and schmoozing on dreams alone. Survive that Bear Grylls!

Nevertheless I had yesterday what I would call pointe-de-zenithio of my dreams. It was one of those dreams, which when you have you never want to wake up. And I wouldn't have woken up except for the minor case of bladder emergency. Two parts of brain, two ears, two eyes and one bladder? Remind me, I need to make a backup storage unit to rectify Gods mistake.

So here is what happened:

The year: 2018.

I had just finished my book and national bestseller "I, Robot and I want a diaper". It was a soul searching and gut-wrenching story of one robot who got tired one day of leaking grease from its arm-pits and decided to rebel against its makers for right to poop more gracefully. Stripped of its dignity it had no choice but to stage a dharna in front of World Nations Head Quarters (Lonavala, India). And for rest what happened you can read on your own. (You can pre-order copies from Amazon.com, all that money will go into charity to make my palace in Central Park, NY).

It had been on National bestseller list for 10 straight months and had even put Rowlings never ending saga of 'Harry potter' behind (Yeah, by 2018 she had made Lord Voldemort alive again - and for the 4th time! Harry and Hermione had sort of a one night stand and their love child became the next wizard to fight Voldemort.) This was the moment I had been waiting for my entire life. I knew it would come. And it did. The phone rang. I picked up. And yes - this was it.

'Hold on now, you are so close.'

Yes, I had just been called for an interview with none other than Stephen Colbert to discuss my book! Now SC or Steve as I love to call him is not a mere mortal sir. He is a rare combination of beauty with brains. Of spectacular eyes with moustacheless machomism. And he delivers. Faster than FedEx, DHL or pigeons of world war 2. He is more than a cultural icon. In fact on my desktop, he is the only icon.

Steve is a legend. His roast in 2006, his numerous moments of head-butting, tongue twisting, word wrapping have made him more powerful than Dalai Lama, Popes and Garfield put together. And I, his greatest living Indian fan had been preparing for this 'Lakshya' my whole life. This ladies and gentleman was the actual reason for me to write that book. Years of strategy learnt from 'Apprentice' had finally paid off.

My thrillness knew no bounds! To be on the sets of Steve, was going to be the greatest eve of my life I had set to achieve!

I am now on the sets of 'The Colbert Show' and as it happens I would be interviewed by Steve in last 10 mins. I am trembling and sitting there I am wondering if there is earthquake and if there is why the hell everybody is not being evacuated. Oh no, its just me. I prayed lord to give me strength and courage to face my hero and check if I had my handkerchief in my upper pocket in case I can’t... hold myself back

Wooooo.... Wooooo... Yey... Yey... Rise ladies and gentlemen... (Stephen does his routine to reach the desk of the invited speaker). And then he comes and sits across that famous polished hard wood desk bought from Ikea for 1o0$.

SC: Now ladies and..

Me: OMG! OMG! OMG! (Shrieking manly and uncontrollably)

SC (suddenly startled)

Me: OMG... steve... I am here... its you... dude, is this real?

SC (startled n continues): Yeah, and ladies and gentleman tonight we have a special guest who is going to speak on the agony of being a robot whose rights to poop were taken off before he was born. So Sir, why should we be concerned off...

Me: Stephen, how do you do it? I have been watching you for 15 years now, and I cannot imagine I am sitting right across my idol, my hero, my santa claus. I have a room plastered with your greatest moments.

SC: Well Dr Anand, I appreciate very much but as I was saying

Me: Stephen, can I hold your hands??

SC: Excuse Me?

Me: Yeah... I want the memory of this moment to last forever. If Deathstar now decides to implode our planet, I want this to be the last memory on this planet earth before I join you in heaven. I'll be your screenwriter, copyrighter, Xerox boy or even your co-desk-sharer if you want.

SC: hmmm... well sorry I already gave the spot of accompanying me to heaven to my first screenwriter. But lets go on, what is this book about? How did you get inspiration to write this?

Me: Fine. We will come to my proposal later... to be honest, it isn’t that one day I got hit in head and decided to write something. Its just that I watched my girlfriend Candella11A and we talked about certain...

SC: wait a min! Candella11A?

Me: Oh right, yeah my girlfriend. She is a class A robot. She feels somewhat hurt if I mention that she is not human. But we have been together for last three years now.

SC: Oh, so you are one of those interspecial couples. How did this happen?

Me: Well, it was sort of a chance meet. I was walking inside a major Science Exhibition couple of years ago, when I accidently bumped into someone. When I looked at her, she was simply the shiniest, glossiest thing I had ever seen. I knew it right then that we have to be together. And then I helped her get up, and put back her batteries where it should be and that’s how it all started. Next day I went her home with an Energizer AA set and apologized and she graciously put them behind her eye sockets. Her Laser eyes glimmered with a shine equivalent to 10 Saturn moons on a starry night that day.

SC: So three years and still going strong?

Me: Yups, pretty much. I wake up every day, fill her up with Penz Special Grade Oil first thing in morning and in between we chat, sms from time to time and I even monitor her from my office using a webcam. Just the other day I surprised her by bringing the newest i6400 core processor from Intel.

SC: But why her??

Me: Well many reasons. Unlike female homo sapiens, she doesn’t argue, doesn’t waste money, no drama, no anger and she doesn’t get hot - even when I hide her Cooling Unit. And she does the best job in the whole world in ironing my pants (I stand up and show my wrinkle-free pants to the audience). See... See not a single wrinkle anywhere! What more can a guy want?

SC: hahaha, ok. Fascinating. Do your parents know about it? how did they react to it? And what about next step?

Me: It was hard at first, but now they seem to understand. And we haven't thought about it yet, but we might go for IVRF (In-vitro Robo Fertilization). You know science has come great way, now next gen robots have ovaries inside them. Candella11A is of last generation so she didn’t had any, but we are talking about it. Let’s see.

SC: Ok. so what about this book...

Me: Forget it Steve... Steve can I ask you a ques? What hair gel brand do you use? I have tried so many, but I just can’t get mine to look as slick as yours. And what about your eye frame? What do you use to polish those silvery frames? BTW, I am your biggest Indian fan you know that?

SC: Laughing. Oh that can’t be true.

Me: Seriously, see I have been waiting for this moment my entire adult life or at least since I met you on my Philips 32 inch TV. Now would you tell me what brand of cereals you use for your breakfast? How about a lunch at my place? Candella11A cooks an awesome shaahi paneer.

SC (laughing): You sir, with your awesome awesomeness have just Stephened me on my own show.

Me: Hey Stephen, I just stephened you. Don’t I get a cool nickname for doing that?

SC (laughing): You meathead, I declare you my greatest Indian fan possible.

Me: Meathead? Me! yaiyyyyyyyy

and then yaiyyyy cut short for the bladder emergency :(

Disclaimer: All the stuff mentioned above is a surreal hypothetical stuff. DO NOT PRINT IT AND INGEST IT.

For the Übergeek

Fascinated by Tattoos?? I am not really fond of piercing your epidermial cell line for funzies, but I admit seeing the following article I am having other thoughts.

Check this

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/loom/science-tattoo-emporium/

Here are some which I liked

Einstein vs Newton

Schroedinger's Equation

Before DNA

If I have seen further, it is only by standing on the shoulders of giants

And my personal favorite: A Pi in my heart

A Kitchen side story

Dear Bhindi Masala,

Adios!

You might find it strange that instead of greeting you welcome first, I am bidding you with goodbyes first. Adios is however not a simple straight word for me and shortly madam you will know why.

Let me refresh your memory. We met at a party where we had spent an entire lunch sitting on the same luncheon table. I know we barely had spent much time over then. But you have been running on my mind ever since then. Stupid as I am, I should have taken your phone number.

I was brought in by the chef and served hot at 2:20 PM. As I waited to be devoured to what looked like a very hungry crowd in front of me, I had subscribed myself to the worst fate imaginable. I knew soon the pitch forks will be raised, and if I am lucky enough my heart will be pierced by a spoon and piece by piece I will become a piecemeal lunch for the one with the overgrown moustache and the lady with too much of red lipstick. But that then is purpose of everything created by our creator. Perhaps you are thinking that I have developed the bout of philosophy in my dying moments or I have become mad because the too much zeera has been sprinkled over me.

Do you know that our journey had started together long before we met at the lunch table?

You see, I was getting a dressing down on the opposite counter when you were being washed, cleaned and sawed. I had freshly been culled and had just been stripped off my dignity right in front of you. But you were too busy with your own private matters so perhaps you missed to watch a chicken get sloshed and waterboarded. In that room, oddly called 'kitchen' everyone I know has died. I guess it was my time. So we were set on the opposite corners, ready to be bludgeoned by our creators. We crossed each others path once a while. I saw that man who looked at us and glowered with his yellowish black teeth and uttered 'Mast khaanaa banega aaj saheb ke liye'. I do not trust people with yellowish black teeth and so don't condemn me when I say that, that character looked far more sinister and suspicious to me. What were his intentions? Is he going to put us in tandoori or he'll make us drown in excess of taree. We would soon find out. I saw as he started the fire and massacered onions before putting them on the pan to do sauté. I looked at you and if my spine had not been ripped off, it would have sent shivers down all the way through it. You looked so vulnerable, so innocent, doll like. As I was pierced right through my heart and crucified on the grill, I saw that man holding your pan in his hand and saying 'sarkaye diyo mirachwa, tadkaa lagey'. As he prepared to put salt, degi mirch and turmeric powder in that tadka it shook me that soon madam, you will be introduced to all that fiery heat. Little did I realize that my own tadka had just been prepared and I will be immersed in that whirlpool of smouldering, boiling taree. Our fates had been tied together by some divine will it seemed. As it happened with me, I saw it happening to you. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I cried, desperately howled, but my voices drowned in the background music of 'aeeeeeee huzoooooooor... tera tera tera surooooooooooooooooor". Everything it seemed was simply against us. I saw you become soft and tender under all that heat. I saw you bend and break under it. I saw you becoming silent eventually. Is she dead? Is she alive?

I couldn't find out because I was apparently ready and so taken out by the cold hands and put into this kadhaai. Put on a plate. They even covered me with a cover dish so that all the steam of my torment may not find a way to escape. Perhaps they were afraid of UN. Or of Media. That I am a distant minority undergoing suppression in hands of overlords would have attracted likes of Mayawati. But no. The cold hands of those kitchen makers are far too strong with ties too sinister. Nevertheless I had no choice but to sit on that lunch table alone and wait for my fate. I wondered though what happened of you.

And then you were brought in. In a Golden round bowl! Madam, I had never seen a vegetable dish look more delicious than you. What an amazing transformation! Sitting next to the salad plate, you were covered with green peppermint leaves with sprinklings of tomato and fresh onions. Could you have looked more beautiful?? I could see the dal makhani eyeing your thunder and suffering diarrhea of jealousy. Somewhere lying in all that taree, my heart skipped few beats. And the aroma! For first time instead of cursing the guy with yellowish black teeth, I marveled at his mastery to create such a fine piece. It was pure and simple art. I tried to hide my pouch belly and fatty overcooked piece of hurriedly cut square pieces. Sitting next to that beautiful masterpiece I felt too hideous.

And then it began. The most memorable trip of my life. Dont be coy. We were brought together occassonally by that unstoppable power of spoon, mixed up together, piece by piece, and gobbled up in one slow motion sometimes with chawal and sometimes with roti. Sometimes we fought for more space on that spoon. And ofcourse the times when you and I were completely lost in one another with our salts and pepper intermingling in the taree. I could not have wished to be consumed in a more fashionable way. We knew it could end. But there was a hope that may be they would order a second serving? A third? Who knew of the future? Maybe they will keep on ordering and it would never end. But then also, would they even finish this serving? Who knew?

But as you now are aware of, there was a twist in the fate. It appeared the rest of us would be taken 'to go' and on different destinations. And hence the requirement to write this letter.

Madam, whether others know or not, but I am the lone witness of whatever happened on that lunch that day. And I assure you, that lunch meant more to me then all the taree and condiments put together.

Hope you keep your spices hot and tomatoes fresh.

Adios!

Yours sincerely

Malaai Tikka

Anatomy of the Invisible Universe

Killing of Sikh Leader Sets Off Riots in India - New York Times

Punjab Riots after Vienna Killing - BBC News

Nah this post isnt about violence or religious extremism. Violence ofcourse starts with 'V'. I usually do not discriminate among letters, but I think the ones which are in the end are usually the laziest bums of the group and less trustable. Dont trust my opinion?? Ok. Simple question: What is the sign of the sleepyheads and comatose drinkyheads in the world?? ZZZZZZZ.... and Z is the 26th alphabet. Coincidence? I think not!

Regardless of whatever the old and the new testament says, I can vouch that this is what happened:

GOD created the universe, the earth, the moon, the beach and the pebbles on the beach over a period of six days. Along with this he created the food chain and made man sit on its top. Everything was fine. And then GOD did just a teeny-tiney-eenie-weenie mistake. He gave man the tongue. If you do not know, the first man didn't had a tongue. We know that GOD is almighty and source of all the wisdom, so of course he would have known the pitfalls of giving man a tongue. But GOD had to give him under circumstantial pressure. You'll ask, GOD and under pressure? Well as my newly written testament says, GOD created man and together they partied, boozed and made merry on the seventh day. When man woke up after all the delectation's and creation hangover, he probably... u know wanted to 'relieve' himself... and if you are in front of GOD almighty then the etiquette dictates u don't leave his party without informing him. Its GOD the 'almighty' and he had just created u fresh from his oven. May be he'll put you in the oven again, just for funzies... You can't predict someones mood after a friday night hangover. So man naturally did what anyone without tongue would do... jump around... use sign language to tell he wants to go for a 'releiving ceremony'... no shame in accepting, we all have done this at some point in our lives... you know how it happens right... when the pressure is too much... we get up, get down... move restlessly... pace up and down... look towards that closed restroom and curse the person sitting inside. Now imagine all that and with added effect of having 'no tongue'... I doubt sign language would have reached its artistic level back then... so GOD is seeing this freshly made hunny-bunny, his art de-joy - the man, jumping in hoops in front of him and with his entire wisdom GOD cannot figure out what the heck is wrong with this young chap...

Rum? Bacardi?? Grapes? Apple?... Seriously Chap... tell me what you want. I am GOD. I can deliver.

But Nah. The Dance of impuissance and conflicted irony continues. So GOD gets frustrated, he wonders and against his own wisdom, does the unthinkable.

So... wolla! GOD gives him the freedom to speak... and since then GOD has probably felt guilty of this mistake... but GOD being GOD cannot disclose this in open... i know this because he told me this last night... anyways... so coming back to the point... now GOD... needed to give man letters too... just the next logical step after creating the tongue...

And thus, GOD created the letters.... and decided to create words... GOD being GOD, cannot stop being GODlike, wanted to be just and fair to all the letters (duh), so he invited them to his palace next day in the morning... to distribute words among them... and give them a place in the alphabet tree... Now we all know what happened after that... A being of most cheerful disposition arrived first and went singing merrily with first seat and Z probably arrived at last... probably had drugged itself on half a weed from last nights creation party... and thus we have A with most words and Z with the least...

Anyhows, now that I have established the history of mankind and alphabets in one single article worthy of being included in Wikipedia, I shall go on to tell the real story behind this blog... It just so happened that last week, my mom, dad and bro got saved from an insane mob of 1000 people...A journey of an hour lasted for more than three during which they had their own version of 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure'... And yeah they are safe and gobbling aaloo/paneer parathas as I thus speak...

In short, everyone left Ludhiana quite late at night. On the way there was 'chakka jaam' at quite many places. I was on phone with them during that time and we were joking about certain things so I didn't realize the gravity of the situation. Anyhows, they had to detour over couple of villages late at night during which they lost their way and ended up in a group of 1000 crazy people who stopped their car and refused to let them go away. Dad, cool as cucumber as he is, stepped outside and showed his sympathies with them. They threatened to harm him. They wanted candies which my dad promised to get them if they come with him to 'Modern Kiryana Store'. So the group calmed down and lo! in from them emerged the leader who took my dad aside and told him in his ear, that candies are for others but 'real men' accept nothing below 'Dairy Milk'. I guess my dad thought a little bit about implications, but he agreed. Ultimately the leader of the group came in and saw the dairy milk in his eyes and took over our car and drove through the entire route until Phagwara! And then Army tried to stop him in between - they wanted their share of candies, but ultimately he reached home safe and sound.

Normally I have seen people panic and getting flustered when something like this happens. Scared, terrified would normally be the general reaction on such cases. It all stems from the inability of people to remember the correct kiryana store to go and fetch candies. But somehow things are little different in our family.Dad says its the 'Faith' thingy. Apparently few years ago we dug a hole in our backyard and hit this supply line. Since then without informing PWD (Punjab Waterworks Department) we have been steadily routing this 'Faith' thingy in our home. I don't know if its illegal to fish faith in troubled waters, but it has kept our lawns green ever since then. So as my dad tried to explain me in language of worlds most ancient dialect - hindi, we have this faith that GOD is sitting in a big room filled with zillions of Televisions and watching over us. Its somewhat unsettling I know. Apparently he does not use DVDs and has system more advanced then Blue Ray to record over what we do. This has raised heat in Seattle where Microsoft is working hard to find the system with aim of ultimately copying and mass producing it under their own label.

Neverthless coming back, probably GOD has a TiVo installed. Who knows. No one has apparently seen his condo or the bed room. GOD is a private person and paparazzi are strictly not allowed. So not much is known about GODs private life. Has he got picture frames hanging on his walls? Da Vinci? Manet? Kabir? Tulsidas? What channels he prefers to watch the most? I am not interested to know the make of the TVs but I sure want to know how much energy bill he gets and what credit card GOD uses to pay them all. My American Express is set to expire in few months.

Anyhows, as much of talentless person I am, I have apparently received this 'faith' by hereditary means. Faith that there is this guide who is constantly watching us and who'll steer our ships away. For long time I thought it was the voice from the skies. I mean like Lightning. But apparently its the voice from within. They say 'Faith' is the best antidote for a calamity. It wont replace the function that a benadryl has to perform but undoubtedly the importance that 'Faith' serves in our lives serves is more than air water and food put together. Not so good things do happen in ones life but nothing can be more terrible than losing ones faith. Having no faith is like a 10 headed giant dragon ready to slay hope, dreams and the banana cream pie given the first chance. So have the faith in whatever you believe in.

It happened when dad had to get operated for his heart. It happened when mom had the accident. And it happened recently when a friend going through serious emotional stress thought stabbing me was as great as taking the giant ride in Kings Island :P (Not for the weak hearted but monstrously funny story, which I am not yet allowed to reveal) and countless others... Have I ever lost it?yeah... once until now... and in a not so distant past... it was akin to sitting on a scooter with really bad shockers but except that, I always had faith that Krogers shall never be empty of the Hagen-Daz when I need it...

Here is hoping that 'May the force be with you' :)

Just an ad... :)

Nice animation. Someday I wish the other anand would make something like this. Oh hell, he will :) Now that he is going to be here, I have started hunting youtube on best ways to beat the crap out of young ones in the clan :D

Journey of Thousand Miles begins with...

I dined with Ezekiel and Gabriel last night

Made a pact and let them check my eye sight

Its one simple life with dreams so many

I'll fulfill them all with lord playing my nanny

We laughed and raised a toast of sparkling wine

Sure, there'll be quests to cross and dragons to maim

But Frodo Baggins didnt stop and neither will I

Until I lay my claim over my shire or until I die

I know that

simply because 

I have and I can