'NewsGeek'. For the uninitiated, this a special genus belonging to the species of 'Geeks' who excel in destroying their time by visiting news websites N number of times in a day with propensity to crunch more information data than munching burgers and french fries. Further subclassification divides this genus into numerous families such as 'WikiAddicts', 'TechAddicts', 'SportsAddicts', 'EcoAddicts', 'EntAddicts' etc etc etc. The addiction is often severe with most noted symptoms being
a) Having bookmarks belonging to newspapers/blogs/information sites
b) The second task you do after checking your email first thing in morning is to check these bookmarked websites
c) You use Google Reader/RSS feeders heavily to feed your never ending appetite of useless news and information with hope of using some pieces of using those news in making an interesting conversation for rest 90% of your life
d) You think the world will end tomorrow if you dont read what is happening and if it does, you dont want to NOT to know when and how is it ending
Twice have I tried to break away from this addiction. Not by choice, but entirely by a shift of situational paradigm imposed upon me by circumstances. And remarkably I discovered few things: such as 'The world didnt end. Lack of information can be a good thing. I can live without knowing each and everything happening around me
'. First time I was out for a week to the heavenly gates of pearl, totally surrounded by blushing mountains from three sides with fields of lilies, roses and green tracks in between on a much wanted trip. It was on way back I realized how happy I was and how that happiness took a hit when my eyes fell on a newsstand proclaiming souring relations between Israel and Palestine. Maybe 'Ignorance is truly a bliss'. But then I realized it is not about news as much as the quality of news which affects people the most.
Earlier there used to be one Doordarshan which would relay news once in morning, afternoon, evening and then night. All the important, worthwhile news used to get covered in those precise half and hour of news and for rest of the time you could go on to live your life happily in total oblivion to all the problems in the world. But now, with news bombarding us 24X7, its impossible to stay away from news. And 99% news is about human misery and problems. Yes they are important and are very much the realities of life, but I believe that too much of 'it' actually challenges our tenacity to remain hopeful of future. There are good things happening everywhere around us, but somehow their voice gets drowned amongst the much bellowing voices of fear, anger, hatred and cynicism.
And then I wondered, if a future is possible where I will wake up one day and all the news I hear is of 'Good' tone. Where instead of a headline saying 'Tsunami pounces and wipes millions', it reads 'People helping each other build lives once more after Tsunami fails to break them'. Unfortunately I know having a dream like that is utterly impossible for pain is as real as happiness and part of our lives.
But still I remain hopeful for such a day
And then I thought a little bit more and chuckled at few thoughts. How about waking up one day with news like these?
1. PTI reports, Taliban declare 'Enough is Enough... is Enough'. Weekend reports have confirmed that Taliban has accepted to give up fighting over peace negotiations with US. In lieu they have been promised unending supply of Coke because they wanted to 'Live on the Coke Side of Life' and 'Eftah Coca-Cola Tefrah'. Sources confirm that the idea of 72 virgins waiting for them lost its appeal when they realized that those virgins will be 72 clones of their wives. 'I'd rather marry a goat and carry it on my shoulder across Morghab or Panjshir than marrying that one in burqa. She doesnt even try wearing Lipstick for Gods sake'.
2. PTI reports, Riots break in a California Jail. Heavy waterfight reported between heavily armed water gun weilding Security forces and inmates who were protesting to receive next version of Counter Strike for their X-Box playstations. Inmates are supposed to have stockpiled hundreds of water balloons and are considered armed and dangerous. The Governor has brought Microsoft Games Chief to act as the tripartite peacebroker to diffuse the situation and explain when the shortage is expected to be met. A spokesman of PCS (Prisoners for Counter Strike) spoke of the daily humiliation the top 'Fraggers' among the prisoners have to sustain in hands of the Warden. 'They jam our Controllers just when we are about to frag them. This is corrupt, inhumane and fundamentally opposes the First Law of Electrodynamics and Constitution'. The spokesman further explained how the 'Frozen' avatars are stripped of their MP5s and P90s just before a covert war is going to begin in the Dungeon Level 4 rendering them at mercy of the opposing team. 'They enjoy seeing us getting fragged' was the last word he said before he broke down into tears. 'Many of these inmates are people who were Linux Users and are just beginning to apprecite Microsoft Games, we cant let them go back to Linux. Freezing them and taking their weapons away will surely drive them back to either Linux or worse to Apple. They just need a new game and complete control over their controllers, thats it'
3. Zardari Decides to play Kho Kho with Manmohan Singh at 10 Janpath. The closed door meeting held between India and Pakistan had a happy ending when it was decided that the fate of Kashmir would be decided by a game of Kho-Kho match between the politicians of the country one month from now. Our illustrious prime minister Shri Manmohan Singh Ji chose Shri Vajapeyi as the captain of our Kho-Kho Team while Musharraf is heading the Pakistani team. Shri Vajapeyi in his states-manly speech mentioned 'Humein............ Aaj....... yahaan............................ mauka mila hai.......................................................................................... ki................................................ hum...................................................................... kuch kar dikhayein....................................................Humein..........' His speech was then cut short by the Shri Lalu who started demanding a Motion in Lok Sabha to decide the T-shirt and Dhoti size for each of the player... 'dekhiye... humka to sirf is cheez se matlab hai, ki sab yihaan aayein, apne bestest form mein... aur humka des international commonitee mein apna dhaak jamaaye. Humraa Bihar mein logan bahoot achhe se dhoti baandhana jaantaa hai, woh sab players ko yahaan help karega to isse Unemployment bhi kam hoga. Dekhiye dhoti surakshit raha, to hi naa desh surakshit rahega, isliye hum chaahte hain ki agle chunaav mein hum dhoti ko apna party symbol banaayein'.... Arjun Singh ji is separately demanding 50% quota in the Kho-Kho team to the under-represented and OBC divisions of the Lok Sabha.
On the pakistani side, sources said they were having slight difficulty in making President Zardari understand the rules of the game, particularly the 'Pakad-Pakad' rule. Sources confirm that he is having difficult to let go of female team members. 'Aji kya musibat hai, sirf ladkiyon ko hi pakadte hain... Kal security bulani padi ladki ko chudaane ke liye. Bas 'Pakad Pakad Pakad' bolte rehte hain'. Nawaz Shareef has been found to listening to Hrithik Roshan's 'Haan yehi rasta hai tera, tune isey jaanaa hai' on his ipod while practicing his 500 meter runs daily.
I can cook up more such stories, but enough for now। Its getting hot in here and I should go and get a shower.
a) Having bookmarks belonging to newspapers/blogs/information sites
b) The second task you do after checking your email first thing in morning is to check these bookmarked websites
c) You use Google Reader/RSS feeders heavily to feed your never ending appetite of useless news and information with hope of using some pieces of using those news in making an interesting conversation for rest 90% of your life
d) You think the world will end tomorrow if you dont read what is happening and if it does, you dont want to NOT to know when and how is it ending
Twice have I tried to break away from this addiction. Not by choice, but entirely by a shift of situational paradigm imposed upon me by circumstances. And remarkably I discovered few things: such as 'The world didnt end. Lack of information can be a good thing. I can live without knowing each and everything happening around me
Earlier there used to be one Doordarshan which would relay news once in morning, afternoon, evening and then night. All the important, worthwhile news used to get covered in those precise half and hour of news and for rest of the time you could go on to live your life happily in total oblivion to all the problems in the world. But now, with news bombarding us 24X7, its impossible to stay away from news. And 99% news is about human misery and problems. Yes they are important and are very much the realities of life, but I believe that too much of 'it' actually challenges our tenacity to remain hopeful of future. There are good things happening everywhere around us, but somehow their voice gets drowned amongst the much bellowing voices of fear, anger, hatred and cynicism.
And then I wondered, if a future is possible where I will wake up one day and all the news I hear is of 'Good' tone. Where instead of a headline saying 'Tsunami pounces and wipes millions', it reads 'People helping each other build lives once more after Tsunami fails to break them'. Unfortunately I know having a dream like that is utterly impossible for pain is as real as happiness and part of our lives.
But still I remain hopeful for such a day
And then I thought a little bit more and chuckled at few thoughts. How about waking up one day with news like these?
1. PTI reports, Taliban declare 'Enough is Enough... is Enough'. Weekend reports have confirmed that Taliban has accepted to give up fighting over peace negotiations with US. In lieu they have been promised unending supply of Coke because they wanted to 'Live on the Coke Side of Life' and 'Eftah Coca-Cola Tefrah'. Sources confirm that the idea of 72 virgins waiting for them lost its appeal when they realized that those virgins will be 72 clones of their wives. 'I'd rather marry a goat and carry it on my shoulder across Morghab or Panjshir than marrying that one in burqa. She doesnt even try wearing Lipstick for Gods sake'.
2. PTI reports, Riots break in a California Jail. Heavy waterfight reported between heavily armed water gun weilding Security forces and inmates who were protesting to receive next version of Counter Strike for their X-Box playstations. Inmates are supposed to have stockpiled hundreds of water balloons and are considered armed and dangerous. The Governor has brought Microsoft Games Chief to act as the tripartite peacebroker to diffuse the situation and explain when the shortage is expected to be met. A spokesman of PCS (Prisoners for Counter Strike) spoke of the daily humiliation the top 'Fraggers' among the prisoners have to sustain in hands of the Warden. 'They jam our Controllers just when we are about to frag them. This is corrupt, inhumane and fundamentally opposes the First Law of Electrodynamics and Constitution'. The spokesman further explained how the 'Frozen' avatars are stripped of their MP5s and P90s just before a covert war is going to begin in the Dungeon Level 4 rendering them at mercy of the opposing team. 'They enjoy seeing us getting fragged' was the last word he said before he broke down into tears. 'Many of these inmates are people who were Linux Users and are just beginning to apprecite Microsoft Games, we cant let them go back to Linux. Freezing them and taking their weapons away will surely drive them back to either Linux or worse to Apple. They just need a new game and complete control over their controllers, thats it'
3. Zardari Decides to play Kho Kho with Manmohan Singh at 10 Janpath. The closed door meeting held between India and Pakistan had a happy ending when it was decided that the fate of Kashmir would be decided by a game of Kho-Kho match between the politicians of the country one month from now. Our illustrious prime minister Shri Manmohan Singh Ji chose Shri Vajapeyi as the captain of our Kho-Kho Team while Musharraf is heading the Pakistani team. Shri Vajapeyi in his states-manly speech mentioned 'Humein............ Aaj....... yahaan............................ mauka mila hai.......................................................................................... ki................................................ hum...................................................................... kuch kar dikhayein....................................................Humein..........' His speech was then cut short by the Shri Lalu who started demanding a Motion in Lok Sabha to decide the T-shirt and Dhoti size for each of the player... 'dekhiye... humka to sirf is cheez se matlab hai, ki sab yihaan aayein, apne bestest form mein... aur humka des international commonitee mein apna dhaak jamaaye. Humraa Bihar mein logan bahoot achhe se dhoti baandhana jaantaa hai, woh sab players ko yahaan help karega to isse Unemployment bhi kam hoga. Dekhiye dhoti surakshit raha, to hi naa desh surakshit rahega, isliye hum chaahte hain ki agle chunaav mein hum dhoti ko apna party symbol banaayein'.... Arjun Singh ji is separately demanding 50% quota in the Kho-Kho team to the under-represented and OBC divisions of the Lok Sabha.
On the pakistani side, sources said they were having slight difficulty in making President Zardari understand the rules of the game, particularly the 'Pakad-Pakad' rule. Sources confirm that he is having difficult to let go of female team members. 'Aji kya musibat hai, sirf ladkiyon ko hi pakadte hain... Kal security bulani padi ladki ko chudaane ke liye. Bas 'Pakad Pakad Pakad' bolte rehte hain'. Nawaz Shareef has been found to listening to Hrithik Roshan's 'Haan yehi rasta hai tera, tune isey jaanaa hai' on his ipod while practicing his 500 meter runs daily.
I can cook up more such stories, but enough for now। Its getting hot in here and I should go and get a shower.
